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Sonny

Vintage Classifed Adverts

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Vintage Classifed Adverts:
 
Youngsters aren't the only people who take out personal ads. Seniors do too! And they have a sense of humor as well. Here are funny classifed ads placed by actual senior citizens in Florida plus a few from Arizona.
 
Male, 1922, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
 
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
 
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out, and enjoy quiet times.
 
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob, and caramel candy.
 
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights, and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
 
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5' 4" (used to be 5' 6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
 
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.
 
80-year-old, bubbly, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I?
 
Wanted: Bonded escort, silver-haired (not dyed), two days a week for three active ladies, eighty-plus. Should look rich (but not too rich). Politically conservative. Good bridge player and waltzer. Sharp enough to handle six Bingo cards at once. Prefer chauffeur's license, L.P.N., and Black Belt in karate.

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