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Sonny

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Sonny last won the day on March 23

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About Sonny

  • Rank
    Sonny
  • Birthday 01/05/1946

core_pfieldgroups_2

  • First Name
    Sonny
  • Last Name
    Cook
  • core_pfield_13
    woodworking

core_pfieldgroups_3

  • core_pfield_11
    Lackland AFB Basic Training 1964

    Chanute AFB 1964-1965 Training, Jet, Over Two Engines(B-52's)

    McGuire AFB 1965-67
    438 OMS
    780 Section
    ACC C-130E 63-7872

    Naha, Okinawa 1967-68
    21st TCS (TAS)
    ACC C-130A 56-0489
    CC C-130A 56-0489
    CC C-130A 56-0533 (Blind Bat)


    Retired from U.S.General Services Administration (GSA) after 38 years of Federal service. I started out as a Building Engineer in Federal Buildings. Later I served as the Building Manager for the State Dept. and the White House. I also headed up special projects for GSA, such as 8 Presidential Inaugurals, 2 Presidential Transistions, NATO 50th Anniversary, and worked on several Olympics.I was also the Director of the buildings located in the Federal Triangle in Washington, DC which housed Treasury Dept.,IRS, Ronald Reagan Building, Commerce, ICC, Secret Service, Customs, EPA and ATF.

    I served for a short time as the Deputy Director of Operations for all the Federal Buildings in the Washington Metro Area.

    I finished my career as the Director of Special Services which included all the fire alarm/fire extinguisher systems, high voltage maintenance, refrigeration services, pest control, and horticultural services for the Washington Metro Area.
  • core_pfield_12
    Hyattsville, Maryland
  • Occupation
    Retired. Spoiling our 6 grandchildren. Loving life!

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. These Notes Were Left in Milk Bottles : Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant. Dear milkman I've just had a baby, please leave another one. Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk. Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it. Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it. Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk. Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today. Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole. Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks. Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round. When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress. Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea? More Examples of Milkman Jokes - Funny Notes Left in Milk BottlesFunny milkman notes My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle? Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me. From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk. Cancel one pint after the day after today. My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight. Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday. When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk. No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.
  2. A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?' The first man approached him and said, 'Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?' The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied........ 'My wife's first husband
  3. Sonny

    Whiskey

    A Congressman in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. 'If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.'
  4. Things Never Said by Rednecks -- Duct tape won't fix that. -- Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. -- We don't keep firearms in the house. -- You can't feed that to the dog. -- The kids can't ride in the back of the pickup -- it's just not safe. -- Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? -- We're vegetarians. -- Do you think my gut is too big? -- Honey, we don't need another dog. -- Who's Richard Petty? -- We could just share a small bag of pork rinds .-- Too many deer heads detract from the decor .-- I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today .-- Is there anything in this restaurant that's NOT fried? -- The tires on that truck are too big. -- I've got it all on the C drive. -- There's too much sugar in this tea. -- Checkmate. -- I believe you cooked those greens too long
  5. A Telephone Salesman telephoned a household, and a four-year-old boy answered. The conversation went thus: Salesman: May I speak to your mother? Boy: She's not here. Salesman: Well, is anyone else there? Boy: My sister. Salesman: O.K., fine. May I speak to her? Boy: I guess so. At this point there was a very long silence on the phone. Then: Boy: Hello? Salesman: It's you. I thought you were going to call your sister. Boy: I did. But I can't get her out of the playpen
  6. Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. " Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." " Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
  7. The Angry Genie One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss." So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account. For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss' house appeared two of each car. Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully", and so the man replied... "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
  8. Sonny

    Stuff

    Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard! I bet you I could stop gambling. I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided. I can't get enough minimalism. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. Do ten millipedes equal one centipede? The best contraceptive for old people is nudity. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me. Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it. Take everything in moderation. Including moderation. There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know. Some days it's not worth chewing through the straps. Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please? Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge. If at first you don't succeed, try left field. When at the window at the unemployment office, loudly say, "I didn't get to where I am today by listening to people like you! Sacred cows make the best hamburgers. I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, it was new to me. If #2 pencils are the most popular, why are they still #2? I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired. I live in California, and my watch is three hours fast, I can't fix it, so I'm moving to New York. I don't want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon. Ask to see my tattoo of a rose, but don't ask outside. I'm constantly bothered by bees. It's not who you know, it's whom you know. There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot". One goldfish says to the other, "If there's no God, who changes our water every week?" A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right. Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work. Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat? Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence. Originality is the art of concealing your sources. Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. Wear a watch and you'll always know what time it is. Wear two watches and you'll never be sure. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on
  9. Twins and Twins A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages. She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins, Kathy and Katy, they're eighteen. And the twins, Seth and Beth, they're sixteen. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're fourteen---- " "Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins every time?" The woman answered, "Heck no, there were whole bunch of times we didn't get nothin'."
  10. What is a Cat? Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They're totally unpredictable. They whine when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They leave hair everywhere. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg. Conclusion: They're tiny women in fur coats. What is a Dog? Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They are great at begging. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies. They leave their toys everywhere. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss. Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.
  11. 1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 2. "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind." 3. "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you." 4. "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me." 5. "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister." 6. "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..." 7. "Thanks for being a part of my life! I never knew what evil was before this!" 8. "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again." 9. "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here." 10. "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?" 11. "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often." 12. "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday, so we're having you put to sleep." 13. "How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?" 14. "Someday I hope to get married, but not to you." 15. "Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that are bigger than mine." 16. "Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike! 17. "Congratulations on getting Married! It's not every day you decide to ruin your life!" 18. "I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected. While I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly." 19. "Sex with you is like using drugs. Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid enough to admit it." 20. "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
  12. At the Dentist: I had to go to the dentist -- very scared of the dentist. I go into the office, and I'm waiting. A little kid comes out, and he's crying. The dentist bends over and gives him a lollipop. I'm like, 'Don't take that, man. That's what got you in here in the first place.'
  13. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax. I was a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. It was a so-so job. I worked in a muffler factory but that was exhausting. I was a barber, but I just couldn't cut it. I tried to be a chef. I thought it would add a little spice to my life,but I just didn't have the thyme. I was a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. I was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patients. I worked in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I always wanted to be a witch, so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it. I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job. I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking. I got a job as a historian but I realized there was no future in it. I was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
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