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Sonny

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Sonny last won the day on August 15

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About Sonny

  • Rank
    Sonny
  • Birthday 01/05/1946

core_pfieldgroups_2

  • First Name
    Sonny
  • Last Name
    Cook
  • core_pfield_13
    woodworking

core_pfieldgroups_3

  • core_pfield_11
    Lackland AFB Basic Training 1964

    Chanute AFB 1964-1965 Training, Jet, Over Two Engines(B-52's)

    McGuire AFB 1965-67
    438 OMS
    780 Section
    ACC C-130E 63-7872

    Naha, Okinawa 1967-68
    21st TCS (TAS)
    ACC C-130A 56-0489
    CC C-130A 56-0489
    CC C-130A 56-0533 (Blind Bat)


    Retired from U.S.General Services Administration (GSA) after 38 years of Federal service. I started out as a Building Engineer in Federal Buildings. Later I served as the Building Manager for the State Dept. and the White House. I also headed up special projects for GSA, such as 8 Presidential Inaugurals, 2 Presidential Transistions, NATO 50th Anniversary, and worked on several Olympics.I was also the Director of the buildings located in the Federal Triangle in Washington, DC which housed Treasury Dept.,IRS, Ronald Reagan Building, Commerce, ICC, Secret Service, Customs, EPA and ATF.

    I served for a short time as the Deputy Director of Operations for all the Federal Buildings in the Washington Metro Area.

    I finished my career as the Director of Special Services which included all the fire alarm/fire extinguisher systems, high voltage maintenance, refrigeration services, pest control, and horticultural services for the Washington Metro Area.
  • core_pfield_12
    Hyattsville, Maryland
  • Occupation
    Retired. Spoiling our 6 grandchildren. Loving life!

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  1. Sonny

    What is......?

    What is a CAT? 1. Cats do what they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They're totally unpredictable. 4. When you want to play, they want to be alone. 5. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 6. They expect you to cater to their every whim. 7. They're moody. 8. They leave hair everywhere. CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats. What is a DOG? 1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. 2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room. 3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time. 4. They growl when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play, they want to play. 6. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 7. They leave their toys everywhere. 8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss! CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats.
  2. Sonny

    Duck Hunters

    Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone. Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape. Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma. Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?"
  3. Sonny

    Drunk Driver?

    Late one Friday night a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. "Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five O' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' course I had to go in for a couple of Guinessis -- couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later..." And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection. The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test." Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?!?"
  4. Sonny

    New Driver

    Martin had just received his brand new driver's license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
  5. Sonny

    Prison vs. Work

    Prison vs. Work IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK....You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON...You get three meals a day. AT WORK....You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON...You get time off for good behavior. AT WORK....You get rewarded for good behavior with more work. IN PRISON...A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK....You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. IN PRISON...You can watch TV and play games. AT WORK....You get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON...You get your own toilet. AT WORK....You have to share. IN PRISON...They allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK....You cannot even speak to your family and friends. IN PRISON...All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. AT WORK....You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON...You spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. AT WORK....You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. IN PRISON...There are wardens who are often sadistic. AT WORK....They are called supervisors. When I finally left my last place of work, it was just like being released from prison, as I was free to do whatever I wanted to.
  6. Sonny

    Orientation in Heaven

    Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, "Look! He's moving!"
  7. I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches but when you’re over seventy...who cares? Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." Lady Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?" Cowboy: "Nah. She's purty good lookin'." When you’re over seventy...who cares? I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, You'd look all right.” I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.” Cost me a fat lip but, when you’re over seventy...who cares? I went to the pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Cost me 6 more stitches. But when you’re over seventy...who cares?
  8. The guide to wife translations: The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It's your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You'll pay for this later The wife says: We need to talk The wife means: I need to complain The wife says: Sure... go ahead The wife means: I don't want you to The wife says: I'n not upset The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron The wife says: You're ... so manly The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights The wife means: I have flabby thighs. The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient The wife means: I want a new house. The wife says: I want new curtains. The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper! The wife says: I need wedding shoes. The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white. The wife says: Hang the picture there The wife means: No, I mean hang it there! The wife says: I heard a noise The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep. The wife says: Do you love me? The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive. The wife says: How much do you love me? The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like. The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute. The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap. The wife says: Am I fat? The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful. The wife says: You have to learn to communicate. The wife means: Just agree with me. The wife says: Are you listening to me? The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.] The wife says: Yes The wife means: No The wife says: No The wife means: No The wife says: Maybe The wife means: No The wife says: I'm sorry The wife means: You'll be sorry The wife says: Do you like this recipe? The wife means: You better get used to it The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place. The wife says: Was that the baby? The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him The wife says: I'm not yelling! The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important! In answer to the question "What's wrong?" The wife says: The same old thing. The wife means: Nothing. The wife says: Nothing. The wife means: Everything. The wife says: Nothing, really. The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot. The wife says: I don't want to talk about it. The wife means: I'm still building up steam.
  9. Sonny

    Business one-liners

    Business one-liners: As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse. As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens. Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes. Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups. At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable. Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself. Bad news drives good news out of the media. Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upward from the floor. Batman is the hero any of us could be, given determination, exercise, and deep psychological trauma. - Chris Jarocha-Ernst Be content with what you've got, but be sure you've got plenty. Business one-liners 16: Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clear to the bone. Before you give a colleague a piece of your mind, be sure you can spare it. Being a good communicator means people find out what is really wrong with you. Believing is seeing. Better latent than never. Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie. Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose. Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil. Beware of one who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds themself no wiser than before. They are full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. - Sir John A. MacDonald, Canada's first prime minister Beware of those wearing suspenders with belts.
  10. Sonny

    Medical Science

    Two 80 year old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science, and such, when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for. The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth!! Makes you feel like a man of 30." The second then asked, "Can you get it over the counter?" "You probably could, if you took 2 pills", said the first man.
  11. Sonny

    "The Optimist."

    A Hollywood producer received a story entitled, "The Optimist." He called his staff together and said: "Gentlemen, this title must be changed to something simpler. We're intelligent and know what an optimist is, but how many of those morons who'll see the picture will know he's an eye-doctor?
  12. Sonny

    Daily Work Parties

    It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper: "Ames" "Here!" "Jenson" "Here!" "Jones" "Here!" "Magersky" "Here!" "Seeback" No answer. "Seeback!" No answer was heard again. "SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent. At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.
  13. Sonny

    Dinner

    Not until you mentioned it!
  14. Sonny

    Dinner

    Grandma was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her grandpa walked up and asked her what they were having for dinner. Irritated by the thought of him sitting in the air conditioned house while she labored away on the weeds, she snapped, "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Pretend I'm out of town, go inside and make dinner yourself!" So grandpa went back in the house and fixed himself a nice big juicy steak, potatoes, garlic bread, and a tall beer. Grandma walked in just about the time he was finishing up and asked, "Where's my dinner?" "Huh? I thought you were out of town."
  15. Sonny

    Business One-liners

    Business one-liners: After all is said and done, usually more is said than done. After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench. Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning. Aiming for the least common denominator sometimes causes division by zero. All American cars are basically Chevrolets. All general statements are false; think about it. All generalizations are false, including this one. All generalizations are useless, including this one. All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start! All great discoveries are made by mistake. All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy. All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way. All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't. All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right. All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism. All the world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. All things being equal, all things are never equal. All things being equal, fat people use more soap. All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
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