Sonny Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Dad Jokes: I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea. Without geometry life is pointless. A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?” I gave all my dead batteries away today… Free of charge. I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed. A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean. Apparently, the survivors are marooned. Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV. Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web. How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram. What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra. Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah. Just watched a documentary about beavers… It was the best damn program I’ve ever seen. Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery “How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.” A Sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here” I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already. There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Slept like a log last night … woke up in the fireplace. What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese. A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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