Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee

[Sonny]

Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee:

 

- You answer the door before people knock.

 

- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

 

- You ski uphill.

 

- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

 

- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

 

- You lick your coffeepot clean.

 

- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.

 

- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

 

- You chew on other people's fingernails.

 

- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."

 

- You can jump-start your car without cables.

 

- Cocaine is a downer.

 

- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.

 

- You don't sweat, you percolate.

 

- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.

 

- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.

 

- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

 

- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

 

- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

 

- People get dizzy just watching you.

 

- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.

 

- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.

 

- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

 

- Instant coffee takes too long.

 

- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

 

- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

 

- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

 

- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.

 

- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

 

- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.

 

- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

 

- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

 

- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.

 

- You don't tan, you roast.

 

- You can't even remember your second cup.