Bad Translations From Places Afar

[Sonny]

Bad Translations From Places Afar:

 

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

 

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

 

In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

 

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

 

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9&11 am daily.

 

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

 

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

 

In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

 

On a menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

 

On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

 

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

 

In a Bangkok cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

 

In a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

 

In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

From the Soviet weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.