You might be an airplane mechanic if ....

[DC10FE]

This has been around a while, but a friend sent it to me this morning & I think it needs to be read again.

Don R.

YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN AVIATION MECHANIC IF YOU HAVE EVER WORKED AT OR DONE AT LEAST 1 OF THE FOLLOWING..........

Ever drank castor-oil -- and not because of your mother.

Slept on concrete under your jet.

Ever said, \"Oh, yes sir, it’s supposed to look like that.\"

You know what a pointy head is.

You consider \"2380\" finger prints on food an \"acquired taste.\"

Have sucked O2 to cure a hang-over.

You know what JetA1 tastes like.

Used a black grease pencil to fix a worn tire.

You have a better store\'s supply in your coveralls or tool box than store\'s does.

Used a piece of safetywire as a tooth pick.

You refer to a pilot as a \"Control Stick Actuator.\"

You\'ve ever been told to go and get \"a yard of flightline\" or a \"bucket of propwash\" from stores.

Worked a 16 hour shift on a jet and then be told by operations that we aren\'t going to fly it till the next day.

Know that R & R doesn’t always mean remove and replace, but raise and rotate.

You\'ve ever said, \"As long as it\'ll start every other try, you\'ll be fine sir.\"

You\'ve ever considered a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a sandwich off of the roach-coach in one hand and a wrench in the other.

You know what a roach-coach is.

And you like the food.

You have ever sat underneath the heat exchangers to get warm.

You\'ve ever towed airplanes around to match the board in operations.

You believe that your \"bird\" has a soul.

You talk to your bird (In your head still counts).

Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows with you.

You\'ve ever said, \"That nav light burned out when you turned it on this morning sir.\"

You\'ve ever used a wheel chock as a hammer.

The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.

You know more about your co-workers than your own family.

While watching commercials on TV, you look for tail numbers on your birds.

You\'ve ever wished a pilot would just say \"Great bird, thanks.\"

You\'ve ever passed gas in the work truck just to clear it out.

You can\'t figure out why your 2 week advance per-diem is gone after 2 days.

You can\'t get through a trip without finding an ATM.

On a trip, the first place that you go is to the local store on a beer run.

Most of your advance is spent in $1.00 increments in a \"club.\"

You can sleep anywhere -- anytime, but as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake.

Everyone thinks that your job mainly consists of waving your arms at airplanes.

You have scars on you that aren’t from your spouse or significant other.

You\'ve ever used a seat cushion as a pillow.

Been gouged by the pig tail end of a safety wired cannon plug.

You\'ve ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.

You change underwear and t-shirts more times than your coveralls.

Used dikes to trim your finger nails.

Used RTV to fix a stripped screw.

Made tampons out of paper towels for drain hole leaks.

Knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out of a drain hole.

Wiped leaks down right before a crew show.

The person held with the highest regard is the person that can drink a 6-pack with in a 5 minute period and not puke.

You\'ve ever driven home after working a 36 hour shift, and don’t remember the drive.

You tell your peers that you are getting a divorce and the first thing that they ask is \"selling anything?\"

Everyone you know has some kind of nickname.

[jetcal1]

Along the same vein. Like you might be an airplane mechanic if...

There is alot of truth

HOW TO SIMULATE LIFE IN THE NAVY

1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.

2. Run all of the piping and wires inside your house on the outside of the walls.

3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it out, clean up, and paint the basement \"deck gray.\"

4. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you\'re hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.

5. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.

6. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. On Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.

7. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling.

8. Have your next-door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout \"Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up\".

9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she\'s going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and read it to you.

10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock yourself out of the bathroom for 12 hours, and hang a sign on the door that reads \"Secured-contact OA division at X-3053.\"

11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it\'s ok for you to leave your house before 3pm.

12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After the 6 months is up, take down the boards, wave at your friends and family through the front window of your home...you can\'t leave until the next day, you have duty.

13. Shower with above-mentioned friends.

14. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home (i.e. Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc.).

15. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15 minutes.

16. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly \"lighted off.\"

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3 times a day, whether they need it or not. (Now sweepers, start your brooms, clean sweep down fore and aft, empty all shitcans over the fantail)

18. Repaint your entire house once a month.

19. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning you can get your hands on.

20. Use eighteen scoops of budget coffee grounds per pot, and allow each pot to sit 5 hours before drinking.

21. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item.

22. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN and the Weather Channel.

23. Avoid watching TV with the exception of movies, which are played in the middle of the night. Have the family vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one.

24. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.

25. Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.

26. Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it \"world travel.\"

27. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonalds, and NOT get promoted.

28. Ensure that any promotions you do get are from stepping on the dead bodies of your co-workers.

29. Needle gun the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have gone to bed.

30. When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone, and shout at the top of your lungs that your home is under attack, and order them to man their battle stations. (\"General quarters, general quarters, all hands man your battle stations\")

31. Make your family menu a week ahead of time and do so without checking the pantry and refrigerator.

32. Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your family that you are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for at least an hour, when they finally get to the kitchen, tell them that you are out of steak, but you have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they don\'t pay attention to the menu any more so they just ask for hot dogs.

33. When baking a cake, prop up one side of the pan while it is in the oven. Spread icing on real thick to level it off.

34. In the middle of January, place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have you family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.

35. Lock yourself and your family in your house for 6 weeks. Then tell them that at the end of the 6th week you\'re going to take them to Disneyland for \"weekend liberty.\" When the end of the 6th week rolls around, inform them that Disneyland has been canceled due to the fact that they need to get ready for Engineering-certification, and that it will be another week before they can leave the house.

36. In your grim, gray dumpster (refer to #1), with 200 of your not-so-closest friend (cite para. 12) regardless of gender, suffer through PMS!

37. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Have you wife whip open the curtains about 3 hours after you go to sleep. She should then shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble \"Sorry, wrong rack.\"

38. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub, move the shower head to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while you soap down.

39. When there is a thunderstorm in your area, find a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseous. Have a supply of stale crackers in your shirt pocket.

40. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

41. For ex-engineering types: leave the lawn mower running in your living room eight hours a day.

42. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

43. Once a week, blow compressed air up your chimney, making sure the wind carries the soot onto your neighbors’ house. Ignore his complaints.

44. Every other month buy green or red marine primer and put it in a paint sprayer. Spray it over the roof of your house onto your neighbors’ car. Ignore his complaints.

45. Lock wire the lug nuts on your car.

46. Buy a trash compactor, but use it only once a week. Store the garbage on the other side of your bathtub.

47. Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread.

48. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night, jump up and get dressed as fast as you can making sure you button up the top button on your shirt, stuff you pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard and uncoil the garden hose.

49. Once a month, take every major appliance apart and put them back together again.

50. Install a fluorescent lamp under the coffee table and then get under it and read books.

51. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through one of them.

52. Every so often, throw the cat in the pool and shout, \"Man overboard, starboard side\" Then run into the house and sweep all the pots and dishes off the counter. Yell at the wife and kids for not having the kitchen \"stowed for sea.\"

53. Put on the headphones from your stereo set, but don\'t plug them in. Hang a paper cup around your neck with string. Go stand in front of yours stove. Say ... to no one in particular \"Stove manned and ready\" Stand there for three or four hours. And say again to no one in particular \"stove secured.\" Roll up your headphones and paper cup and place them in a box.

[pjvr99]

DC10FE wrote:

This has been around a while, but a friend sent it to me this morning & I think it needs to be read again.

Don R.

YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN AVIATION MECHANIC IF YOU HAVE EVER WORKED AT OR DONE AT LEAST 1 OF THE FOLLOWING..........

Ever drank castor-oil -- and not because of your mother.

Slept on concrete under your jet.

Ever said, \"Oh, yes sir, it’s supposed to look like that.\"

You know what a pointy head is.

You consider \"2380\" finger prints on food an \"acquired taste.\"

Have sucked O2 to cure a hang-over.

You know what JetA1 tastes like.

Used a black grease pencil to fix a worn tire.

You have a better store\'s supply in your coveralls or tool box than store\'s does.

Used a piece of safetywire as a tooth pick.

You refer to a pilot as a \"Control Stick Actuator.\"

You\'ve ever been told to go and get \"a yard of flightline\" or a \"bucket of propwash\" from stores.

Worked a 16 hour shift on a jet and then be told by operations that we aren\'t going to fly it till the next day.

Know that R & R doesn’t always mean remove and replace, but raise and rotate.

You\'ve ever said, \"As long as it\'ll start every other try, you\'ll be fine sir.\"

You\'ve ever considered a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a sandwich off of the roach-coach in one hand and a wrench in the other.

You know what a roach-coach is.

And you like the food.

You have ever sat underneath the heat exchangers to get warm.

You\'ve ever towed airplanes around to match the board in operations.

You believe that your \"bird\" has a soul.

You talk to your bird (In your head still counts).

Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows with you.

You\'ve ever said, \"That nav light burned out when you turned it on this morning sir.\"

You\'ve ever used a wheel chock as a hammer.

The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.

You know more about your co-workers than your own family.

While watching commercials on TV, you look for tail numbers on your birds.

You\'ve ever wished a pilot would just say \"Great bird, thanks.\"

You\'ve ever passed gas in the work truck just to clear it out.

You can\'t figure out why your 2 week advance per-diem is gone after 2 days.

You can\'t get through a trip without finding an ATM.

On a trip, the first place that you go is to the local store on a beer run.

Most of your advance is spent in $1.00 increments in a \"club.\"

You can sleep anywhere -- anytime, but as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake.

Everyone thinks that your job mainly consists of waving your arms at airplanes.

You have scars on you that aren’t from your spouse or significant other.

You\'ve ever used a seat cushion as a pillow.

Been gouged by the pig tail end of a safety wired cannon plug.

You\'ve ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.

You change underwear and t-shirts more times than your coveralls.

Used dikes to trim your finger nails.

Used RTV to fix a stripped screw.

Made tampons out of paper towels for drain hole leaks.

Knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out of a drain hole.

Wiped leaks down right before a crew show.

The person held with the highest regard is the person that can drink a 6-pack with in a 5 minute period and not puke.

You\'ve ever driven home after working a 36 hour shift, and don’t remember the drive.

You tell your peers that you are getting a divorce and the first thing that they ask is \"selling anything?\"

Everyone you know has some kind of nickname.

I have highlighted more than 5, so I suppose I qualify :laugh:

[Fräulein]

DC10FE wrote:

This has been around a while, but a friend sent it to me this morning & I think it needs to be read again.

Don R.

YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN AVIATION MECHANIC IF YOU HAVE EVER WORKED AT OR DONE AT LEAST 1 OF THE FOLLOWING..........

You have a better store\'s supply in your coveralls or tool box than store\'s does.

It is better to have and not need it, than need it and not have it.

DC10FE wrote:

You\'ve ever considered a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a sandwich off of the roach-coach in one hand and a wrench in the other

You know what a roach-coach is.

And you like the food.

Mmmmm Pink hotdogs. And doughnuts with \"sprinkles\".

DC10FE wrote:

You\'ve ever said, \"That nav light burned out when you turned it on this morning sir.\"

It was like that when I got here. Pin the blame on the new guy.

DC10FE wrote:

You\'ve ever used a wheel chock as a hammer.

Only because you misplaced the wrench when you were using it as a prybar.

DC10FE wrote:

While watching commercials on TV, you look for tail numbers on your birds.

I actually did this on a re-run of 24 last night :laugh:

305 was the number.

DC10FE wrote:

You can\'t get through a trip without finding an ATM.

You should know where they are in relation to the bars.

DC10FE wrote:

Used dikes to trim your finger nails.

And used a matchbook cover or a zipper to file the nail.

[ec130crewchief]

DC10FE wrote:

This has been around a while, but a friend sent it to me this morning & I think it needs to be read again.

Don R.

YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN AVIATION MECHANIC IF YOU HAVE EVER WORKED AT OR DONE AT LEAST 1 OF THE FOLLOWING..........

Ever drank castor-oil -- and not because of your mother.

Slept on concrete under your jet.

Ever said, \"Oh, yes sir, it’s supposed to look like that.\"

You know what a pointy head is.

You consider \"2380\" finger prints on food an \"acquired taste.\"

Have sucked O2 to cure a hang-over.

You know what JetA1 tastes like.

Used a black grease pencil to fix a worn tire.

You have a better store\'s supply in your coveralls or tool box than store\'s does.

Used a piece of safetywire as a tooth pick.

You refer to a pilot as a \"Control Stick Actuator.\"

You\'ve ever been told to go and get \"a yard of flightline\" or a \"bucket of propwash\" from stores.

Worked a 16 hour shift on a jet and then be told by operations that we aren\'t going to fly it till the next day.

Know that R & R doesn’t always mean remove and replace, but raise and rotate.

You\'ve ever said, \"As long as it\'ll start every other try, you\'ll be fine sir.\"

You\'ve ever considered a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a sandwich off of the roach-coach in one hand and a wrench in the other.

You know what a roach-coach is.

And you like the food.

You have ever sat underneath the heat exchangers to get warm.

You\'ve ever towed airplanes around to match the board in operations.

You believe that your \"bird\" has a soul.

You talk to your bird (In your head still counts).

Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows with you.

You\'ve ever said, \"That nav light burned out when you turned it on this morning sir.\"

You\'ve ever used a wheel chock as a hammer.

The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.

You know more about your co-workers than your own family.

While watching commercials on TV, you look for tail numbers on your birds.

You\'ve ever wished a pilot would just say \"Great bird, thanks.\"

You\'ve ever passed gas in the work truck just to clear it out.

You can\'t figure out why your 2 week advance per-diem is gone after 2 days.

You can\'t get through a trip without finding an ATM.

On a trip, the first place that you go is to the local store on a beer run.

Most of your advance is spent in $1.00 increments in a \"club.\"

You can sleep anywhere -- anytime, but as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake.

Everyone thinks that your job mainly consists of waving your arms at airplanes.

You have scars on you that aren’t from your spouse or significant other.

You\'ve ever used a seat cushion as a pillow.

Been gouged by the pig tail end of a safety wired cannon plug.

You\'ve ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.

You change underwear and t-shirts more times than your coveralls.

Used dikes to trim your finger nails.

Used RTV to fix a stripped screw.

Made tampons out of paper towels for drain hole leaks.

Knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out of a drain hole.

Wiped leaks down right before a crew show.

The person held with the highest regard is the person that can drink a 6-pack with in a 5 minute period and not puke.

You\'ve ever driven home after working a 36 hour shift, and don’t remember the drive.

You tell your peers that you are getting a divorce and the first thing that they ask is \"selling anything?\"

Everyone you know has some kind of nickname.

:cheer: Done most of this! LOL.....

[Guest cobra935o]

Back in the day you didnt need to know where the ATM was cause they were handing you a wad of cash before you deployed, or went where ever it was that you were going. I think if you have spent any amount of time as a 130 crew chief you have done most of this list.

I did enjoy the Navy list though, makes me thankful for not following in my grandfathers foot steps.

Nathan

[donwon]

Back in my day there were no ATM,s.

And I still have never used one to this day.