Crew Chief's... God bless them all

[Skip Davenport]

You Might be a Crew Chief IF.....

You've ever said, "Oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that."

You've ever sucked LOX to cure a hangover.

You know what JP4/JP5 tastes like.

You've ever used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.

You've ever had to say, "My boots are still black!" (or ever

spray-painted them black)

You have ever used soot from the tailpipe to blacken your boots.

You believe the aircraft has a soul.

You talk to the aircraft.

The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.

You know more about your coworkers than you do about your own family.

You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist.

You ever wished the pilot would just say, "Great aircraft!"

You think everyone who isn't a Crew Chief is a wimp.

You wondered where they keep finding the idiots that keep making up stupid rules.

You consider 'Moly-B' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'.

You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash, a yard of flight line or the keys to the jet.

You have ever jumped inside an intake to get out of the rain.

Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house.

You have ever preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that the flight was canceled hours ago.

Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend air shows with you.

You have ever looked for pictures of "your" jet in aviation books and magazines.

You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days.

You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake.

You have ever used, wheel chock, or tow bar for a pillow.

You have ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.

You have ever used a pair of Dykes to trim a fingernail.

You have ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes.

You have ever started a jet inside the hanger!

You have ever wiped leaks right before a crew show.

All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off.

You have ever had to de-fuel your jet an hour after fueling it.

Everyone you know has some kind of nickname.

You have used the "Pull Chocks" hand signal to tell your buddies it is

time to leave..

You have ever bled hydraulic fluid into a Gatorade bottle or soda can

because you are too lazy to go get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat

keys.

If have you ever been tackled, duct taped to a tow bar, covered in PET

and sand, egged, sour-milked, peanut buttered and jellied, and slapped under

the emergency wash station in 30 degree weather?

You know in your heart that your jet is female.

You refer to ANY machine as "she."

You refer to QA as "the enemy."

You hate Ops, Maintenance Control, QA, and cops.

You know the international marshalling sign for "pull your head out of your ass."

You've ever worked weekend duty on a jet that isn't flying on Monday.

You've wanted the jet to start just so you can warm up.

You can't remember half of your co-workers real names... only their nicknames.

You fix 30 million dollar jets, but can't figure out what's wrong with your $150 lawnmower.

Your toolbox at home has wheels and foam cutouts, just like the ones at work.

Some of the tools in your toolbox at home are etched.

If the way you measure the cost of living in other countries is by the price of a beer at a bar.

And best of all…

You know everyone you send this to will understand… because they’ve all been crew chiefs or been around them!

[airnav]

A dual faceted tribute! For all of their hard work, and educating those who have no clue as to what those men and women go through.

I salute you all!

Kurt

[davis]

Looks like I did about 90% of those. Never had a gun trigger and QA I

guess was QC and never put tail pipe smoot on my boots,but have been

know to paint them. That a great list thought.

[topboltsto400]

Never started an engine in a hangar....the "pull chocks" sign to your buddies is so true...

[CCFH]

Amen! This has it all fighter crew chiefs (wierd bunch they are) and the all important heavy crew chiefs! Outstanding!

[A97Stallion]

Oh how i can tick so many then....

Here are some more that I'm sure many can also relate to

You've ever slept on the concrete under a wing (or on the wing itself).

You've ever used a black chinagraph pencil to fix an overworn tire.

You have a better benchstock in the pockets of your overalls than the supply system.

You've ever used a piece of lockwire as a toothpick. (should make em Mint Flavoured)

You refer to a pilot as a "control-stick actuator" or "seat/stick interface", etc etc.

You've ever been told to "pump up the windsock, a left-handed screw driver, a North bearing, a bottle of K-9P or a can of striped paint, a tapered Drill, a Long weight, go find a 12†populating tool"

You've ever worked a 14-hour shift on an aircraft that isn't flying the next day.

You talk to the aircraft (often in a not-so-nice way).

You've ever said, "That nav light burned out after launch."

You've ever used a chock as a hammer.

You relieve yourself more often outdoors than indoors.

You've used lockwire to clean your fingernails.

You've worn someone else's hat to the mess.

Cheers Kev

[C130Hcc]

You rub "her" nose before she taxies.

[Guest]

My favorite expression, "I'm not the regular Crew Chief." I even used it when I was on my plane.

[Steve1300]

How many of you old "crew chiefs" ever tried to talk someone else into handling the launch on your bird because you found out that the "school squadron" was flying it today?

Ever waited until dark to do your liferafts changes because you knew that you had to do them by yourself and didn't want QC to catch you tying a strap to them and kicking them off the wing so you can lower them to the ground?

Ever kept a list of best places to go for either Hopkinsville or Fayetteville in your pocket, because you knew from one month to the next; you are going to end up in one of those places?

Did you ever delay draining the manifold on the SPR because you knew you were going to need cleaning solvent during the pre-flight and that's the most convenient place to get it?

Seems that I once heard someone saying that these things were done in the past - somewhere.

[SEFEGeorge]

Some of the "older" CC's might remember:

Pulling chocks on a Connie and always getting oil slung all over your clean fatigues;

Pulling chocks on a 118 and listening to the soulful rumbling coming from the short stacks;

Checking and servicing brake de-boosters during pre-flight;

Servicing cabin compressors standing on a chained down B-4 stand with engine running and getting Skydrol everywhere except the filler port;

Calling out the ADI, oil, and fuel trucks and realizing you're going to need more oil than gas;

Have a flight crew bring a bird back after the engine run-up for a 105 RPM drop during the mag check, and it was only a pilot pro.

[DC10FE]

How about cleaning the exhaust tracks on a C-118 with a hose hooked up to the fuel boost pump in the wheel well?

In 1967, during a short 6-month break in my Air Force career, I worked for Eastern Airlines at Logan Airport in Boston. We used to wash the exhaust tracks on the Connies from a tank filled with Varsol, which was actually 115/145 Avgas.

It's a wonder I never saw an airplane catch fire during any of those cleaning procedures!

Don R.

[EClark]

I was at Sewart and we did a lot of training when was not doing combat flying I liked to launch the plane than recover becauce they liked to used the red pencil because they could and would but that was all part of crewing. And the eggburgers were better before daylite at the Flt.line snack bar

Edited June 6, 2009 by EClark

[ENRGZR]

...if you've ever booby trapped the crew door to slam when someone steps on it so you can wake up and resume your "inspection".

Great list. I needed that...

[jetcal1]

Thanks for the great posts, between this one and the flap track/APU thread, I was LMAO. Not a C-130 guy or an Air Force crew chief, but as a navy mech they were all great!

For us, it was a few yards of waterline or relative bearing grease.

[PACAF]

Just a few more:

Proudly displayed your collection of "Flt caps" with insignias from LT bar to Three Star

Had a near complete bench stock on the acft in numerous locations

Kept a hammock in your bag for rigging up on the ramp to sleep in

Ever riveted the urinal lids to get back at a flt crew

Hid in the MLG wheel well with two pieces of safety wire for the FE when he stuck his hands in to lift the door and make him think he just got snake bit.

Ever stood in front of the GTC exhaust to warm up

Or ever laid on your back and leg lifted the nose of an OV-10 to slide the nose jacks in

Called home on HF radios instead of going to the MARS station and wait in line for three min. call

Used Lox to get rid of a wart

Walked out the top of an engine to take a SOAP sample on a BPO

Opened an oil cooler flap while someone was in the intake

Waited until after midnight to do a three man tow

Referred to the ground man as "monkey on a string"

Crawled in a light cart to warm up

Walked to the "ropes" for a smoke break

Gone to sleep on top of a Defuel truck