Dan Wilson Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, KS. IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef! IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your know- ledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala. IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS. IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments. IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less. IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi! and they walk among us . . . and REPRODUCE!! Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze. The first Hillbilly clear his throat and says, "My wife sure is stupid! She bought an air conditioner ..." "Why is that stupid?" asks the second Hillbilly. "'Cuz we ain't go no electricity," replied the first. "That's nothin'," said the second Hillbilly. "My wife is so stupid she bought one of them new-fangled washin' machines!" "Why is that so stupid?" asks one of the others. "'Cuz we ain't got no plummin'!" "That ain't nuthin'," says the third Hillbilly. "My wife is dumber than both of your wives put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' for some change and I found six condoms in thar!" "What's so dumb about that?" asks his two friends. "She ain't got no pecker!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fräulein Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments. This has actually happened to me. To add insult to injury, my "congrats on five loyal years of service " party was earlier that morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Wilson Posted April 21, 2010 Author Share Posted April 21, 2010 Some folks just have no sense, feel sorry for you about that one for sure. Here's a good one for idiots, this happened not once but multiple times while I was living in Albuquerque. I would be talking to whatever "idiot of the day" on the other end of the phone line looking for customer service (AT&T, AOL and VISA were three that I remember specifically) and when they would ask where I was, I would tell them my address, only to hear: "Sorry sir, we don't service Mexico or anywhere outside of the United States":eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davis Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Good stuff Dan LOL. "HERE YOUR SIGN":) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fräulein Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 "Sorry sir, we don't service Mexico or anywhere outside of the United States":eek: The place I worked was the Marriott. I experienced that on a daily basis. On the guest registration forms there was a small line for "passport number". This was a form that was printed for ALL Marriott's. I think this may have contributed to the problem. Best idiot ever was a teacher from the midwest who proclaimed that I spoke excellent English, even though I was in Mexico. I proceeded to inform her that she was still in the US. At which point she laughed and said, "No dear. I am a school teacher. And in the US we have better schools than probably the one you went to. We have better geography courses than here in Mexico." At this point an AF guy, who "moonlighted" to make extra pay, came over to us with his US road atlas. Slammed it on the counter and proceeded to "school" her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Wilson Posted April 21, 2010 Author Share Posted April 21, 2010 Yep, that's your liberal left wing public school system for you. Everyone gets a "feel good about yourself" pass from kindergarten to you college degree:mad: Just because someones a teacher nowadays don't mean they can even add without a calculator. How many High school or even college kids today wouldn't be able to name 50 states or even find em on a map. Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n1dp Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 My oldest wanted to go to a Vet school. I had her send off for info from many programs. The package we received from UC Davis in California was for a foreign student application complete with overseas postage. We lived in Alaska at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinyclark Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 I went to a Buger King in Alaska, asked for a medium drink. She says "For here or to go?" I say, "Just pick one, what difference does it make?" She says, "Because I have to know. Here or to go?" Funny thing here in Georgia if they don't have a digital register. If the total of a sale is $10.51, and you give them a $20 bill and 51 cents, you may as well have given them a Rubik's Cube. Invariably, they give you more money back than they should. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muff Millen Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Try to go into one of the "sub class" quickey stores like chain donut shop and ask the price of donutes...they might say 6 fot $4.00 you say "ok give me a half dozen" and watch their expression. Or better yet try paying with $2.00 dollar bills...that really freaks them out. Muff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fräulein Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 * makes note to use exact change in Georgia. what a scam Or better yet try paying with $2.00 dollar bills...that really freaks them out. Muff This, and any sort of dollar or fifty cent coin. That Sacajawea dollars really confuse people. I had an employee at a counter once tell me "I'm sorry, we only accept Amurrrikan currency." They pronounced American the way I spelled it. To which my reply was. "It IS American. It's not f**ckin pirate treasure." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetcal1 Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 "It IS American. It's not f**ckin pirate treasure." I sure wouldn't use the f**ckin currency...it's gotta be worth more than the dollar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaprad Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 I came back from my first deployment and we stopped in St. Johns for the night. I went to my parents place and my dad and I went to Wally World to pick up some stuff. As I was getting ready to pay I noticed some odd bills in my wallet and announced that I still had Canadian money left. The cashier asked when I last visited Canadia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jansen Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 The sad thing is that so many people outside the US know more about American geography than most Americans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TSgtRet Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 In the same general vein; society , in general. has become so dependent on GPS, Garmin, Map Quest, OnStar, etc that when you give them directions like "go North on I 69, then go East on I 80" you will almost always get: "which way is North?"....... So you bite your tongue and say, very slowly and distinctly: "Follow the sign that says 'Lansing' then follow the one that says 'Toledo'" GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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