One Liners Ten

[snowyday]

From the United States Air Force - “There are old pilots and bold pilots, but very few old bold pilots.â€

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Children do brighten up a home. Who ever saw one of them turn out a light.

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Loose teeth worry more people than loose morals.

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An author dedicated a new book to his wife, without whose absence, he said, it could never have been written.

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Another way of getting the wrong number is to ask a woman her age.

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When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they take better care of it over there.

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It has been suggested that the reason there were fewer wrecks in the horse and buggy days was because the driver didn’t depend wholly on his own intelligence.

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The only place that a dollar is still worth 100 cents today is in those problems in the arithmetic book.

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The Old Timer can remember when things in ten-cent stores were 10 cents.

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It’s a wise woman who makes her husband feel that he is the head of the house when he is really only chairman of the entertainment committee.

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A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

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Leon Noel of Little Rock, Arkansas, can spell his name backward as quickly as he can forward.

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Many a girl has found out that marriage wasn’t the solution for tired aching feet.

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The toughest part of putting something away for a rainy day is finding a clear day to do it.

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Today’s foreign policy seems to be speak softly and carry a big stick of candy. 1958

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There is probably an excellent reason why the husbands of the world’s ten best dressed women are seldom listed among the ten best dressed men.

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“There are two types of women in the world – those who take you for what you are, and those who take you for what you have.

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You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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One who thinks purls are precious stones is a knit-wit.

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Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

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Know-how doesn’t seem to account for as much in Washington these days as know-whom.

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Well, the huge national debt our descendants will inherit should keep them from one indulgence – ancestor worship!

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What this country needs is not so much a good five-cent cigar, as a nickel that is worth five cents.

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The whole world over, it looks like the American taxpayer has got to be his brother’s keeper.

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A lot of folks that takes a back seat in church is going to get a front seat in hell. 1949

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There ain’t nothing funnier to a fool than to watch another fool acting natural.

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A woman with a broken heart gets a kick out of wearing it on her sleeve.

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A politician says when a politician quits politicking he’s out of a job. Usually he don’t need a job then – he’s dead.

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There ain’t but one way to stop fools from driving cars 90 miles an hour: Stop making cars that’ll run that fast.

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Many a feller that’s scooting around now in an expensive car will have to walk over the hill to the poorhouse.

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The fellow that insists he’s laid all his cards on the table generally has an ace up his sleeve.

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Let’s celebrate the fact, that we have the best country in the world, and renew our resolve to make it even better.

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Lets get rid of all the politicians and find us some PATRIOTS. MDS