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Intersting loads?


fryguyokc
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What are some of the weird/funny/illegal/interesting loads you've hauled or heard of hauled in your time? I've heard that there was a crew that took a POV on the road with them so they would have a set of wheels while they were there. Not sure how true that is... Would love to see some pictures!

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Ah, George, thats easy. That would be the guy driving the little yellow pickup.:D The same loadie that can turn a crappy trip into a fun one.

WHAT?????? What are you sayin'?

Okay try these.......a Bronze bust of Audie Murphy, from Langley to Pope. Ya would thought I had the crown jewels, special handling forms, all that, or TWO damn golf carts from Willow Grove, Pa to Wright-Pat, or a combo load of a pallet of toilet paper and a 105 howitzer, someplace in Nam, or a D-6 bulldozer, or a premat6ure baby in an incubator plugged into one of the hot-pot receptacles,( baby died just as we entered the pattern to Ramstein), or probably 40 or so cases of Coors Banquet out of Mountain Home ( my wife had a friend who was a nurse out there, helped us get 'bout all they had free), or 30K of Budweiser, hauled all over Turkey, everybody knows of the Rose Mateus and all from the Class 6 at Lajes, globe bars, ship models, who know2s what else. Give me time, I'll remember more.

Giz

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On my very last mission in USAF...Picking up VP Agnew's ground power unit & mule from the island of Bali where spiro T. stopped for a round of golf on his way to japan....AC picked up a complete set of hand carved & hand painted Wooden (monkey wood maybe...) little childrens chair and table furniture set that while we were climbing out on our way out of Bali to Australia (Canberra?) the table & chairs began to show cracks in the wood...Had one upset Bird Col AC...(We were on Bali for over a week with leaking fuel tanks)... Remember getting a wooden case of Rose Mateus Wine @ Lajes & we entered USA in Miami & the Nav said that customs was going to walk thru the plane...We hid the Rose Mateus in the Chain lockers and up in the ramp...I was all of 18 and never did that again! Customs did meet us on the ramp too...but just stuck their head in the cargo compartment (we were empty...)

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Our load master rejected a load that was over height in Dhaharan during Desert Storm. Aerial port kept coming out and insisting it wasn't over height (we measured it). The rest of the crew went inside and I was in the cargo compartment when a Captain came out and asked why we rejected the load. I told him "it's bigger than the hole in the ass end of the plane and even with a running start it won't fit". He busted out laughing and left. No one came back out.

During a Ramstein rotation while on duty crew we had a request to rig a plane for an aero med run. The configurement was for a 141 and would put the comfort pallet on the ramp. The jackass making the request knew there were 6 pallet positions but I had to talk to job control and not the idiot directly. I was told the person making the request knew there are 6 pallet positions on a C-130. I said "yes there are, do you know where pallet position 6 is?" " No." " Pallet position 6 is on the cargo ramp which is at a 45º incline when it's closed which is pretty handy if you want pressurization and to be able to fly over 150 knots. It would pretty difficult for them try to sit on the shitters at a 45º."

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Told ya I'd remember more..........now this, of course, was just a sendup, but still. we had a first=termer, like me, named Jerry Penner, who was beyond a doubt the most gullible guy who ever stretched a strap. he was scheduled to fly some kind of trip, and it wasn't to one of our usual places. well, another loady, Lou Simpson, told him he had better get into his -9 and bone up on what he was gonna haul,.......30,000 pounds of..................... Fallopian tubes, and Penner was beside himself cause he could find nothing about it......Now penner also, somehow came up with a pilot chute, clamped it to the bumper of his Pinto, took off down the street where he lived, out around King street, threw the chute out the window and tore the bumper off . See why he fell for the load????????????? Come to think of it, it may have been a 15' extraction chute,,,,cause I have a pilot chute in my junk, I mean memorabilia.....

Edited by gizzard
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Rotating back to Pope from P.I. (Clark or MacTan) one of the "Food Service" (cooks) guys had a large aquarium with several very tiny, very beautiful tropical fish. We nursed them along to Wake where the aquarium cracked upon landing. Somebody rounded up some plastic and we transfered the fish into a bucket, lined the aquarium and put the fish back in. Only loosing a couple. The cook was very concerned about customs upon ariving Hickum, so I hid the tank (if memory serves me) in chain storage. Customs simply walked through, no problem. We had a days layover and the cook retrieved his fish, smuggled them into the guest barracks, changed the water and promptly killed the fish!Salt water fish, fresh water!!!!!!

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Holy smoke....all that trouble to get those fish home only to kill them with fresh water. What a hoot. One trip, returning to Langley from Moldyhole, the AC had stocked up on Michlin tires and I hauled back a wooden sailing ship from Spain. Its full of dust but I still have it 40 some years later.

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Holy smoke....all that trouble to get those fish home only to kill them with fresh water. What a hoot. One trip, returning to Langley from Moldyhole, the AC had stocked up on Michlin tires and I hauled back a wooden sailing ship from Spain. Its full of dust but I still have it 40 some years later.

Ah, a reminder took a giant C-130 from Moldy to Bitberg, along with some bird colonel. Don't recall what the reason was, but I was told that we would be takin' some stuff back,,,,,yep there they were four Kelly Springfield for the colonel... Irony??? These same tires were made twelve miles from my home town....................

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Hauled a cobra helicopter to Atsugi for rework, Ops would not let me claim stick time for the nap (I mean eye lid inspection) I conducted in its cockpit. Hauled a replica bronze bell to Hickam that was going to replace one at the Naval Academy that was taken during the battle of Okinawa and a pallet of rocks that was going to one of the O'clubs golf couses on Oki. Heard rumors that a flight crew hauled an elephant? on behalf of the Thai royal family.

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Once apon a time we picked up a P-51 in panama with two spare eng , it had prueven markings on it also it had a builet hole in the canape to ware the pilot sat . We took it to wright pat. I went to wright pat 40 years later trying to find what happened to it , asked at the musium but nobody seemed to know. On another note we were on quick alert in modyhole we were lanched to take a C-130 spare tire in to bordoe france for the columben air force ,tucked inside there plane was a new frence merage with the wings off on a palet. Giz your right memory is a funney thing and I would't change a thing. As a last note Bob you need to put spell check on this site for us old guys who still cant spell.

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When rotating back to Sewart AFB from Everaux, France [1962] we were diverted to Orley Field, Paris to pick up a 'priority load' for the White House. Upon parking after landing a black limo followed by a AF canvas covered truck pulled up. They loaded several crates [a chandelier, paintings & 2 rolled up carpets]. They pulled away and while starting engines the limo circled back to where I was standing. The back window rolled down and the guy shoved a small box at me and yelled 'this goes too!' The label had the name of a Hat Shop in Paris and was addressed to Jacquelyn Kennedy, White House, USA. I stuck it under my flight deck bunk seat for the ride to Andrews AFB. Have wished many a time that I had taken a pic of that box!! --- Hal James, Crew Chief, C130B 61-0950.

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As a last note Bob you need to put spell check on this site for us old guys who still cant spell.

Try switching to Firefox for your browser, it has spell check in the program.

When I was in Germany (think it was still W Germany at that time) we had a crew haul a pax into Souda Bay on Friday and hauled his casket out on Sunday - creepy

I hauled Dan Quales limo and secret service package from Latvia Lithuania, was supposed to take it to Leon France but had to WX divert into Geneva instead (bummer) and spent the next week sitting on the ground (weathered in and broke), lots an lots of lookie loos wanting to see the two American Herks.

Out of Pakistan we went to a FARP station up in really really bad guy land (up in the Khyber Pass region) to haul them out as they had an "uhem" heightened security level (or skinnies in the wire). We loaded up gear in one big hurry and it was everywhere. We were the junk wagon because what we didn't take they had to abandon. We had fuel fittings and hoses everywhere with fuel still sloshing out of the fittings - even I didn't smoke on that flight!!

Used to haul UH-1's in and out of Berlin while I was in Germany (Helo's couldn't fly the three corridors - verboten by treaty) They tended to be pretty tight loadout, kinda like loading a prop on the ramp.

God I carried all sorts of strange stuff over the years, I am sure I will remember some as soon as I walk away from the computer.

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We picked up a Huey tail boom once. ERO'd it with four guys.

With the too-tall vehicle- been there, done that a couple times. I love how there's always an Aerial Port guy that comes out, does nothing but says "It came in on a -130." No it didn't. Then their supervisor comes out to tell me that I don't know what I'm doing. We whip out the dash 9 and a tape measure. Yep, you're wrong Mr. Loadplanner. Your people don't walk the loads and waste my time and this sortie.

One time, we took a local national, her baby and her mother to the regional hospital from a distant Army outpost. The Army folks put them on a manifest and told me that the hospital is waiting on them and that everything was approved. We get back to base and nobody has any idea what we're talking about. I forget how the situation worked out, but I think we could've gotten in some trouble if things had worked out slightly differently.

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Best loads, hmmm.... Flew a duck butt out of EDF escorting a C-12 to Korea. Porta potty, cooler full of steaks, 5 gallon igloo cooler, case of beer, couple bottles of vodka, 7-up, bag of fruit (oranges, etc), picnic supplies, etc.

EDF, Adak for gas, Midway - 2 days on the ground. Beach party the 1st night - beer, hula punch and steaks. Don't eat the fruit at the bottle of the cooler from the hula punch! Good thing we had 2 days there and an augmented crew.

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More from the "LIfe and Times of Gizzard, famed 20th Century Aviator.".............. The trip with the 'dozer, out of Torrejon. Had three nurses , seems my life had been plagued, I mean enhanced by nurses, who were going to either Weisboden or Ramstein, I forget which, and that is where we were goin.' I said fien, if the AC agreed, which he did. Brought 'em to the airplane and then a Freddie Frieght comes over, says they can't go because of the haz-mat load...........which I asked to be defined.........asshole says " The fuel and battery on the dozer." We couldn't take them........Couple weeks later, we were back,,,,,,got a load of some kind of crap, forget what, and in it was some form of pyrotechnic stuff, maybe only fifty pounds or so. SOOOOOOOOOO, I get out the old 71-4 ( is that the right number), and sho' nuff it was against the compatability chart, SOOOOOOOO, this hillbilly loady says" I can take one or the other, but not both.""" Oh, no, that is not what it says.....SOOOOOOOOO out comes this wimpy bottlecap colonel, who demands that I load it. I says" No way, unless ,a nd i showed him the notation that exceptions could be made at the direction of the commanding general, I think it was of the Numbered airforce we were in. He swells up like a toad in a dog's mouth, and i don't know what he was gonna say, but my AC tells him " If my loadmaster says it can't go, it won't go, unless YOU follow procedures." Got'em.

Another time, out of Pope, a butter-bar Lt. tried to get me to take, some thing like, 100 or more T-10 chutes, and something like forty pax. There was not enough room for both, what with the pallets and all, and I told him I couldn't take both. This 90 day wonder almost screams at he " Well, you can take fifty or sixty troops on a drop and they have TWO parachutes on." "Oh yes, sir" says I, " But they have them on their f&&&& back and chest."""" Well, this guy just about vapor locks, and his troops are lovin' every minute of it...... About this time the Ac I had comes along. Now this guy was a major, and he always, at least when I flew with him, always came out to check on how things were going at the plane. anyway, he asked me and i tell him, and Lt. Fuzz comes struttin' up and demands that we take his entire load..... The AC looks at me, asks me if there is any way we can do it, and I said no, just no way with the way they had the load configured. Well, butterbar says " This HAS to go, and you have to order this sgt to load it."At which the AC, who was about 6-2 and 200, and I cannot remember his name to save my ass, says. " Lt. you decide which you want to go, and we will take it, but I want you to remember one thing, when it comes to loading this aircraft, the sgt carries the same rank as I do, as my designated representative."THAT was a real compliment to me, far as I was concerned.

Giz

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Giz, gotta love those kinds of people. The AC for being a stand-up guy and the butter bar for being, well, a butter bar.

Not a load story, but a "war story" of sorts. 3-shipper sitting on the ground at Ft. Wainwright waiting on troops to drop at Donnelly drop zone. Mid winter exercise. Zeros up front, GTC running, door and ramp open, standing in the back with the loady drinking coffee and trying to stay warm. Waiting on the jumpmasters. New guy finishes his preflight and comes up to the 3 of us, beaming with arrogance and his beany almost not fitting on his big head. Then he says "I get $50 a month to jump out of this things." I look at the other 2 guys, with smirks on their faces and say, "well I get $135 a month to sit up front and drink coffee." The senior jumpmaster is trying not to laugh as I turn around and head back up front to get some more coffee.

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Giz, gotta love those kinds of people. The AC for being a stand-up guy and the butter bar for being, well, a butter bar.

Not a load story, but a "war story" of sorts. 3-shipper sitting on the ground at Ft. Wainwright waiting on troops to drop at Donnelly drop zone. Mid winter exercise. Zeros up front, GTC running, door and ramp open, standing in the back with the loady drinking coffee and trying to stay warm. Waiting on the jumpmasters. New guy finishes his preflight and comes up to the 3 of us, beaming with arrogance and his beany almost not fitting on his big head. Then he says "I get $50 a month to jump out of this things." I look at the other 2 guys, with smirks on their faces and say, "well I get $135 a month to sit up front and drink coffee." The senior jumpmaster is trying not to laugh as I turn around and head back up front to get some more coffee.

Had a similar, George. Jumpmaster goin' all over the plane, actin' like Sherlock Holmes, E-6 if I remember, anyway after all this he says, " You know I make $55 a month to jump from this aircraft!"" I told him " Hell I get $70 a month to stay in it.""

Good one, he says.

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Back when I was in my last year in the USAF, somehow we wound up on a trip to Adak, Alaska. After finishing off loading our crap, we begin the starting engine checklist. The tower calls and said there's a cook who just got notified he has a family emergency and has to go on emergency leave. They ask if we could wait for him since there wouldn't be any traffic there for about a week. The AC gets all antsy wanting to go, so he tries calling 22nd AF, but couldn't raise them. Our loadmaster was a Chief (E9). He pipes up and says we will wait for the cook. The AC spins around in his seat ready to jump on him. The Chief puts up his hands and says, "Don't worry Captain, my decision. I'm the only one on the crew who can't get promoted."

Don R.

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