Little Johnny Jokes

[Sonny]

"I'm afraid I'll never see you in heaven, Johnny," the Sunday School teacher

said to her most mischievous child.

"Why," questioned Johnny, "What have you been doing wrong?"

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about

things. "Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?" he asked

his mother.

"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up

with a good answer to her husband's baldness.

Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, "So why do you have

so much hair?"

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.

He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"

His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."

Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!"

"I'm ashamed of you," Little Johnny's mother said. "Fighting with your best

friend is a terrible thing to do."

"He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him."

"When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me."

"What good would that have done?" Little Johnny replied, "My aim is much

better than yours."

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please

do my homework for me?"

Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny "At least you could try."

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to

go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, "Because people are sleeping!"

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. And on this day, the teacher

asked the class where they thought God lived. One little girl raised her

hand, and the teacher called upon her. "I think God lives in the sky,

because that is where heaven is." the girl replied. "That's good!" said the

teacher.

Another little boy raised his hand, and the teacher called on him. "And

where do you think God lives?" she asked. Very piously, the boy answered

"God lives in each of our hearts!"

"That's VERY good," she smiled.

When she asked a third time, Little Johnny was the only one who raised his

hand. Quietly dreading his answer, the teacher asked, "And where do you

think God lives, Johnny?" "In the bathroom." he said. "In the bathroom?" she

asked, puzzled yet unable to stop herself.

"Yes, because every morning my father beats on the bathroom door and screams

'GOD, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?' "

Little Johnny comes home from his first day at school. His mother asks,

"Well, what did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."

[mongo]

Clean little Johnny jokes.... never knew they existed! (good ones too!)