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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/19/2019 in all areas

  1. A Telephone Salesman telephoned a household, and a four-year-old boy answered. The conversation went thus: Salesman: May I speak to your mother? Boy: She's not here. Salesman: Well, is anyone else there? Boy: My sister. Salesman: O.K., fine. May I speak to her? Boy: I guess so. At this point there was a very long silence on the phone. Then: Boy: Hello? Salesman: It's you. I thought you were going to call your sister. Boy: I did. But I can't get her out of the playpen
    1 point
  2. Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. " Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." " Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
    1 point
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