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We had all grown weary listening,

To the stories of war and death.

When the old Confederate rested

A moment to catch his breath.

And one disgusted listener,

In rather sarcastic tone,

Said: “Now, see here, old soldier,

As we’re all of us alone;

Come, tell us, about how many

Of the Yanks did you ever kill?â€

The Old Confederate answered,

“It’s a ticklish question. Still,

I don’t mind tellin’ it private,

An’ in confidence jest to you;

I’ve been figgerin’ ‘em up here lately,

An’, infact, I’ve just got through.

It’s a strange coincidence, very,

“Bout the strangest I ever see

Fur I killed jest as many of theyuns,

As theyuns killed of me!â€

The Galveston Daily News, Galveston, Texas, February 11, 1884

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