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Bad Translations From Places Afar: In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9&11 am daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. On a menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience we recommend courteous, efficient self-service. In a Bangkok cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results. In a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking. In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. From the Soviet weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

Engineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your entertainment. The authors are unknown (or perhaps wish to remain unknown). We thank them for their insight into real-world broadcasting. GRUNDMAN'S LAW -- Under the most carefully controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, humidity and other variables, the system will perform as it damn well pleases. KNIGHT'S LAW -- A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. HIDLEY'S LAW -- Nothing is impossible for a man who doesn't have to do the work. DUNCAN'S LAW -- When in doubt, mumble. EVAN'S LAW -- Every man has a scheme that will not work. HULKO'S LAW -- A theory is better than its explanation. STORYK'S LAW -- The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office. WORAM'S LAW -- Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. NORDAHL'S LAW -- Everything goes wrong at once. EMERMAN'S LAW -- In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course. TARSIA'S LAW -- The obvious answer is always overlooked. SNODDY'S LAW -- It works better if you plug it in. HARRISON'S LAW -- There is always an easy answer to every problem-- neat, plausible, and wrong. MEADOW'S LAW -- It won't work. WESTLAKE'S LAW -- The first 90 percent of the project takes 90 percent of the time, and the last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent. HARNED'S LAW -- Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can. SCHNEE'S LAW -- Anything that begins well will end badly. (Note: The converse of this law is not true.) STONE'S LAW -- Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows. GOLDEN'S LAW -- A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. PERRY'S LAW -- If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. GARAY'S LAW -- An object will fall so as to do the most damage. KELSEY'S LAW -- Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert. LIGHTNER'S LAW -- If it happens, it must be possible. GUY'S LAW -- The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability. MOYSSIADIS' LAW -- As soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens . CAPPS' LAW -- If it can find a way to wear out faster, it will. LIPPELL'S LAW -- If a research project is not worth doing, it is not worth doing well. NEUMANN'S LAW -- Whoever has the gold makes the rules. CALBI'S LAW -- Nothing is as easy as it looks. MARINO'S LAW -- Everything takes longer than you think it will. TODRANK'S LAW -- There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who do not. BROSIOUS' LAW -- The components you have will expand to fill the available space. INGOLDSBY'S LAW -- You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. MERTEN'S LAW -- The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing. ZENTZ'S LAW -- Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out. LUDWIG'S LAW -- The other line moves faster. DOZIER'S LAW -- Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results. ** RETTINGER'S LAW** -- Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example. RICKER'S LAW -- Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail the same way. BODEN'S LAW -- If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. HANSCH'S LAW -- Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. EBERLE'S LAWS -- 1. Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse. 2. No matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to fake it. 3. No matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to his pet theory. 4. No matter what the result, someone is always eager to misinterpret it. FULGINITI'S LAW -- In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion. SAX'S LAW -- All laws are basically false.

GREAT REASONS TO BE A GUY: Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. Everything on your face stays its original color. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me." Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?" You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You don't have to shave below your neck. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

I read some manual written as "CDS(breakaway) - Position both anchor cable stops at LS1173 and wrap with tape." I know generally both anchor cable stops position is different. Is it correct to position stops same? If so, what's the reason?

What Gender is A Computer?: A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ''House'' for instance, is feminine: ''la casa.'' ''Pencil,'' however, is masculine: "el lapiz.'' A student asked, ''What gender is 'computer'?'' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ''computer'' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the feminine gender (''la computadora''), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (''el computador''), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won!!!

What are the probable cause for this condition of aircraft main wheel tyre? It happened only on one tyre out of two at rt side just after touchdown. All reacti

The Plan: In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of s%@#, and it stinks." And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and we can't live with the smell. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, "It is the container of the excrements, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it." And the Mangers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength." And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful." And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company with very powerful effects." And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good. And the Plan became Policy. And that is how s%@# happens.

Real flight announcements: Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land ... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as Hell everything has shifted." From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." "Last one off the plane must clean it." And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry ...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...! Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!" Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways.

The following headlines were actually printed in newspapers: - Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One - Miners Refuse to Work after Death - Include Your Children when Baking Cookies - Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide - Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead - Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says - Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers - Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted - Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin case - Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents - Iraqi Head Seeks Arms - Prostitutes Appeal to Pope - Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over - British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands - Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms - Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe - Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told - Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant - War Dims Hope for Peace - Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures - Deer Kill 17,000 - Stolen Painting Found by Tree - Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy - Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire - Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood - Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half - New Vaccine May Contain Rabies - Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors - Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter - Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years - Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges - Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge - New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group - Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft - Kids Make Nutritious Snacks - Eye Drops Off Shelf - Teachers Strike Idle Kids - Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead - Princess Diana Was Alive Hours Before She Died

Vintage Classified Adverts: Youngsters aren't the only people who take out personal ads. Seniors do too! And they have a sense of humor as well. Here are funny classified ads placed by actual senior citizens in Florida plus a few from Arizona: Male, 1922, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well. Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem. I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out, and enjoy quiet times. Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob, and caramel candy. I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights, and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes. Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5' 4" (used to be 5' 6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, let's put our two heads together. 80-year-old, bubbly, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I? Wanted: Bonded escort, silver-haired (not dyed), two days a week for three active ladies, eighty-plus. Should look rich (but not too rich). Politically conservative. Good bridge player and waltzer. Sharp enough to handle six Bingo cards at once. Prefer chauffeur's license, L.P.N., and Black Belt in karate.

Puzzling English words: Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym. 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce . 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse . 4) We must polish the Polish furniture… 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.. 7) Since there is no time like the present , he thought it was time to present the present .. 😎 A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’?

Interesting Quotes : I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody." - Garry Shandling If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. - Dick Cavett Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. - Lewis Grizzard Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. - Mark Twain Men look at women the way men look at cars... Everyone looks at Ferraris. Now and then we like a pickup truck, and we all buy station wagons... - Tim Allen If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight. - Rita Rudner Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. - Tim Allen AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote." - Jay Leno You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see it shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. - Tim Allen Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code.....he turned himself in. - Rita Rudner If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future. - Bernard Meltzer Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. - John Lithgow Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus. - Francoise Sagan

Interesting Quotes: Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes, you'll know you're dead. - Tennessee Williams Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. - Vlade Divac There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers. - Robert Orben Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door. - Charleton Ogburn Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet every evening down at the bar. - Drew Carey Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish. - Charles Caleb Colton Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. - Thomas Edison Sweat is the cologne of accomplishment. - Heywood Hale Brown Only a mediocre person is always at his best. - W. Somerset Maugham Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. - Ogden Nash In politics, sincerity is everything. Once you can fake that, you've got it made! - Groucho Marx The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. - Henry Boye Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, but nobody thinks of complaining. - Jeff Raskin There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies. - George Carlin A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. - James Baldwin Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat. - Jeff Foxworthy Life is hard. After all, it kills you. - Katherine Hepburn If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? "Would you like some breadsticks?" "No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll." - George Carlin How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were? - Satchel Paige Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey Honest criticism is hard to take, especially when it comes from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. - Franklin P. Jones My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. It's not much of a watchdog, but it's a vicious gossip. - Craig Shoemaker As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions. - Woody Allen The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. - Bill Gates They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them! - George Carlin I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

More Bumper Stickers: I always finish what I st Procrastinate now. The last time politics and religion were mixed, people were burned at the stake. Rehab is for quitters. My dog can lick anyone! I have a degree in Liberal Arts - do you want fries with that? Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them. Do they ever shut up on your planet? If you were born again, would you have two bellybuttons? I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun! I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. The trouble with life is there's no background music. NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine. Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. Gravity: It's not just a good idea. It's the law. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? You - Off my planet.

BUMPER STICKERS: What I really need are minions. Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore. (Bill Smith, this is for you!!) So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute? I'm an English major: You do the math. I need someone real bad. Are you real bad? Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. The more you complain the longer God makes you live. I R S: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. Out of my mind - back in five minutes. Without ME, it's just AWESO. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. Life would be easier if I had the source code. Hang up and drive. God must love stupid people. He made SO many of them. I said "no" to drugs, but they didn't listen. Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot. I fish, therefore I lie. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. If catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Good Afternoon to all who take time to review this. It has been almost 4 years since I started my Claims with the VA. My initial Claims put me at 40% and a bout of prostate cancer with residuals has me at 90%. One Claim for degenerative arthritis in some joints has been pending a BVA Hearing since Feb 2022. It is now scheduled for July. I am preparing a statement to submit and, in the interest of accuracy, am looking for any photographs of the Radar Systems undergoing maintenance. Ideally, the nose radome/wheel well area, the Hell Hole, the ADF area, any under belly panels/antenna sections, etc... The hardest hurdle I will have to overcome is a lack of treatments in my service treatment records as I never reported to sick call for these issues. I found it easier to use ice, heat, and aspirins versus reporting to sick call and risk being placed on light duty and miss out on any deployment opportunities I thank those who posted about the use of Freon 116 used in the KA Band radar system as I am using that information for an updated TERA statement for other Claims involving toxic exposures I have been able to obtain two Buddy Statements attesting to the rigorous nature of maintaining the C130s at Pope AFB to include removing and installing various AWADS components by myself. Certainly hoping this will sway the presiding Judge to grant in my favor Thanks in advance for any help, photos, suggestions, or support anyone has to offer Steve (Andy) Anderson USAF, Retired

Can't come to the door right now, I'm doing the dishes.

A drunk woman leapt into a taxi stark naked. Sachin, the Indian cab driver made no attempt to drive off. "What's wrong with you Luv, haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?" "I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper, where I am coming from..." "Well, if you're not bloody staring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?" "Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me with?!"

Hello!! Is anybody home???

Wacky Science Facts as told by students: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind. Talc is found on rocks and on babies. The law of gravity says "no fair jumping up without coming back down". When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting. Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating. Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage. Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime. Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south. A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go. There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever. There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days. Lime is a green-tasting rock. Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil. Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should. Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there. Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother. Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers. We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up. In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's. Clouds are high flying fogs. I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing. Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do. Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does. Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water. We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe. Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail. Rain is saved up in cloud banks. In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes. Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man. A blizzard is when it snows sideways. A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size. A monsoon is a French gentleman. Thunder is a rich source of loudness. Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound. It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.

After all is said and done, more is said than done. Any design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development. A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works. If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable. If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious. The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order. If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. When all else fails, read the instructions. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way. Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it. The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management. A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant detail. There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over. The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches. The more knowledge you gain, the less certain you are of it. Technicians are the only ones that don't trust technology. The more you want to contact someone over an instant messenger is inversely proportional to the chances that they will be online. The more important your email is, the worse your email program will screw it up. The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

IF: If you are running for a short line, it suddenly becomes a long line. If you are worried about being crazy, don't be overly concerned. If you were, you would think you were sane. If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone to blame. If you cannot convince them, confuse them. (Harry S. Truman) If you cannot dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. If you cannot fix it, feature it. If you cannot get your work done in a 24-hour day, then work nights! If you cannot measure output, then you measure input. If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos. If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion. If you did what you always did, you'll get what you always got. If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it. If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again. If you do not care where you are, then you aren't lost. If you do not change direction, you are likely to end up where you are headed. If you do not know what you're doing, do it neatly. If you do not like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question. If you do not make dust, you eat dust. If you do not say it, they can't repeat it. If you do not understand it, it must be intuitively obvious. If you explain so clearly that no one can possibly misunderstand, someone will. If you file it, you'll know where it is but never need it. If you don't file it, you'll need it but never know where it is. If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong.

Thanks!!!

Great Job with this!!!