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Sonny

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Sonny last won the day on December 30 2023

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About Sonny

  • Birthday 01/05/1946

core_pfieldgroups_2

  • First Name
    Sonny
  • Last Name
    Cook
  • core_pfield_13
    woodworking

core_pfieldgroups_3

  • core_pfield_11
    Lackland AFB Basic Training 1964

    Chanute AFB 1964-1965 Training, Jet, Over Two Engines(B-52's)

    McGuire AFB 1965-67
    438 OMS
    780 Section
    ACC C-130E 63-7872

    Naha, Okinawa 1967-68
    21st TCS (TAS)
    ACC C-130A 56-0489
    CC C-130A 56-0489
    CC C-130A 56-0533 (Blind Bat)


    Retired from U.S.General Services Administration (GSA) after 38 years of Federal service. I started out as a Building Engineer in Federal Buildings. Later I served as the Building Manager for the State Dept. and the White House. I also headed up special projects for GSA, such as 8 Presidential Inaugurals, 2 Presidential Transistions, NATO 50th Anniversary, and worked on several Olympics.I was also the Director of the buildings located in the Federal Triangle in Washington, DC which housed Treasury Dept.,IRS, Ronald Reagan Building, Commerce, ICC, Secret Service, Customs, EPA and ATF.

    I served for a short time as the Deputy Director of Operations for all the Federal Buildings in the Washington Metro Area.

    I finished my career as the Director of Special Services which included all the fire alarm/fire extinguisher systems, high voltage maintenance, refrigeration services, pest control, and horticultural services for the Washington Metro Area.
  • core_pfield_12
    Hyattsville, Maryland
  • Occupation
    Retired. Spoiling our 6 grandchildren. Loving life!

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  1. Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard! I bet you I could stop gambling. I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided. I can't get enough minimalism. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. Do ten millipedes equal one centipede? The best contraceptive for old people is nudity. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me. Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it. Take everything in moderation. Including moderation. There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know. Some days it's not worth chewing through the straps. Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please? Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge. If at first you don't succeed, try left field. When at the window at the unemployment office, loudly say, "I didn't get to where I am today by listening to people like you! Sacred cows make the best hamburgers. I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, it was new to me. If #2 pencils are the most popular, why are they still #2? I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired. I live in California, and my watch is three hours fast, I can't fix it, so I'm moving to New York. I don't want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon. Ask to see my tattoo of a rose, but don't ask outside. I'm constantly bothered by bees. It's not who you know, it's whom you know. There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot". One goldfish says to the other, "If there's no God, who changes our water every week?" A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right. Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work. Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat? Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence. Originality is the art of concealing your sources. Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. Wear a watch and you'll always know what time it is. Wear two watches and you'll never be sure. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
  2. What the hell is happening to this page??????
  3. : My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax. I was a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. It was a so-so job. I worked in a muffler factory but that was exhausting. I was a barber, but I just couldn't cut it. I tried to be a chef. I thought it would add a little spice to my life,but I just didn't have the thyme. I was a deli worker, but anyway I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. I was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patients. I worked in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I always wanted to be a witch, so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it. I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job. I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking. I got a job as a historian but I realized there was no future in it. I was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
  4. Actual Newspaper Headlines: Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During Murder Trial Reason for More Bear Sightings: More Bears Actor Sent to Jail for Not Finishing Sentence Tiger Woods Play With Own Balls, Nike Says Fireproof Clothing Factory Burns to Ground Astronomers See Colorful Gas Clouds Bubble Out of Uranus Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Sex Offender Says Registering Will Hurt His Reputation Psychics Predict World Didn't End Yesterday Eye Drops Off Shelf Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons Jane Fonda to Teens: Use Head to Avoid Pregnancy Specialist: Electric Chair Can Be "Extremely Painful" Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust-Free Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Man Tries Armed Robbery with Knife in Gun Store Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25 Air Board to Study Fast Food Emissions Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing State Prisons to Replace Easy Open Locks Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case British Study Finds Less Traffic When Roads Close Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide Gators to Face Seminoles with Peters Out Young Marines Make Tasty Christmas Treats Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Farmer Bill Dies in House Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One Hirohito's Body Moved Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While Complaints About NHL Referees Growing Ugly Stolen Painting Found by Tree Stud Tires Out Air Head Fired Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Men Recommend More Clubs for Wives
  5. Sonny

    Bob

    Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?' Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'
  6. Today's Ponderings: Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? How can there be self-help "groups"? How do you get off a non-stop flight? How do you write zero in Roman numerals? How many weeks are there in a light year? If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them? If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of? If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do? If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child? Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
  7. What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
  8. Definitions: Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do. Baloney buh-lo'-nee: Where some hemlines fall. Bernadette burn'-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage. Burglarize bur'-gler-ize: What a crook sees with. Control kon-trol': A short, ugly inmate. Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. Eclipse i-klips': what an English barber does for a living. Eyedropper i'-drop-ur: a clumsy ophthalmologist. Heroes hee'-rhos: what a guy in a boat does. Left Bank left' bangk': what the robber did when his bag was full of loot. Misty mis'-tee: How golfers create divots. Paradox par'-u-doks: two physicians. Parasites par'-uh-sites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Pharmacist farm'-uh-sist: a helper on the farm. Polarize po'-lur-ize: what penguins in Antarctica see. Primate pri'-mat: removing your spouse from in front of the TV. Relief ree-leef': what trees do in the spring. Rubberneck rub'-er-nek: what you do to relax your wife. Seamstress seem'-stres: describes 200 pounds in a size two. Selfish sel'-fish: what the owner of a seafood store does. Subdued sub-dood': a guy, that works on one of those submarines. Sudafed sood'-a-fed: bringing litigation against a government official
  9. Interesting Questions: Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
  10. Sonny

    STUFF

    1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). 3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes. 6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off. 7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. 9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. 10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. 11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under. 16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 17. Every calendar's days are numbered. 18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine. 19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. 20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 21. A plateau is a high form of flattery. 22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. 25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. 26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye. 27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 29. Acupuncture is a jab well done. 30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
  11. RETIREMENT OPTIONS: You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away from your house because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your behind from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door. 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? OR You can retire to California where... 1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought OR You can retire to New York City where... 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .... 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 3. You think Central Park is "nature." 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. 5. You've worn out a car horn. ( IF you have a car). 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. OR You can retire to Minnesota where... 1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup 2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas. 3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair. 6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different, she is different or It was different! OR You can retire to the Deep South where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense. 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc etc. 5. Everywhere is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder" OR You can retire to Colorado where... 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. OR You can retire to Wyoming where... 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor or cattle to cross the road. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at. OR FINALLY You can retire to Florida where... 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind – even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people
  12. THE ARROGANCE OF OLD AGE: Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the liquor store. I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts, and a light top which was wide open. She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window. With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a sexy voice, "I’m a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?" I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer you got?"
  13. You Guessed It! More Ponderings: How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? You know how most packages say "Open here".What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers? Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is? Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk ? The light went out, but where to ? Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra? How come when I call Information they can't tell me where my keys are? Why do people go to Burger King and Order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and insist on getting a Diet Coke? Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? Why is the alphabet in that order? If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
  14. More Ponderings: What would we have called the color orange if it wasn't a fruit? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? How can there be self-help "groups"? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap? If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure? Just "before" someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach? It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor. You can't have everything, where would you put it? Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
  15. Think About It: I had amnesia once - or twice. Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them. Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a motorway. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. What if there were no hypothetical questions? One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail. A flashlight is a carrying case for dead batteries. What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. How can there be self-help "groups"? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Is it possible to be totally partial? Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one. Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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