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Aero Precision provides OEM part support for military aircraft operators across more than 20 aircraft

Sonny

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Everything posted by Sonny

  1. Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes: That's not right... Sum Ting Wong Are you harboring a fugitive?... Hu Yu Hai Ding? See me ASAP... Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man... Dum Gai Small Horse... Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan? I bumped into a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Ni I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat It's very dark in here... Wai So Dim? I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching? This is a tow away zone... No Pah King Our meeting is scheduled f
  2. Got my gun permit yesterday, then went over to the local gun shop to get a small 9mm for home protection. When I was ready to pay by credit card for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me!" Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader. I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors
  3. A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking BA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "BA?" exclaimed the hairdresser.. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?" "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome '
  4. The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he wa
  5. Useful Military Warnings: "Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop "If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher f
  6. Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results. The lab tech says to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible." "What do you mean?" "Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other for AIDS. We can't tell
  7. A photographer, who was also a confirmed atheist, decided to go into the woods to get photos of the fall foliage. It was a beautiful day....fall colors, birds chirping, babbling brook, and a gentle breeze rustling the leaves. While snapping shots, the atheist heard a noise behind him, and whirled around to see a huge bear coming through the bushes. He dropped his camera and ran. And kept running....... and looking behind him, he noticed the bear was gaining on him. He was so scared that tears came to his eyes. He ran faster, b
  8. For every problem, there is a neat, plain solution...and it is always wrong. For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision. Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places. Free advice costs nothing until you act upon it. Free time which unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted. Freud's 23rd law: ideas endure and prosper in inverse proportion to their soundness and validity. Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. Frustration is not having anyone to blame but yourself. Genius is
  9. MODERN PROVERBS: a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. c.. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. d.. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. e.. A closed mouth gathers no feet. f.. If you must choose between two evils, p
  10. Sonny

    Stuff

    I got these from my friend Mel Copeland:
  11. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said... "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
  12. IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK....You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON...You get three meals a day. AT WORK....You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON...You get time off for good behavior. AT WORK....You get rewarded for good behavior with more work. IN PRISON...A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK
  13. One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated. "Why yes," she replied
  14. Business one-liners: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants. A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth. A penny saved has not been spent. A penny saved is an economic breakthrough. A penny saved is ridiculous.
  15. Bob was staring sadly into his beer and sighed heavily. “What’s up Bob?” asked the bartender… It’s not like you to be so down in the mouth.” “It’s my five year old son…” Bob replied. “Don’t tell me, he’s in trouble for fighting in school? – my lad’s just the same – forget about it; it happens to boys that age,” said the bartender, sympathetically. “ I only wish it was that,” continued the customer, “ but it’s far worse than that. The little devil has got our gorgeous 18 y
  16. Brain Cramps: Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mari
  17. Sonny

    Stuff

    Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serv
  18. Words of wisdom from the corporate world. a.. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fredrick Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.) b.. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping) c.. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat
  19. When we get older we think differently, don't we? This letter was sent to the Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind ..........especially if you are familiar with the elderly. Dear Kean Elementary, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens' luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Springer Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all
  20. Funny Signs: In a Japanese hotel room: "Please to bathe inside the tub." In a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis." Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." In a loan company window: "Now you can borrow enough money to get completely out of debt." In the windo
  21. Amazing Golf Ball These two guys were approaching the first tee. The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball." He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can't lose it." His friend replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!!" The first man replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it." Obviously, his friend doe
  22. Sonny

    Quickie

    The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike." A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving." "Jason is on his skat
  23. Martha Stewart's Way Vs. My Way Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for pete's sake, you are probably laying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. You know we don't have anything better to do. Martha's way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time. My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The h
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