Bob's Annual Review: 1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3. wasting company time talking to colleagues.Bob never 4. thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5. finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended 6. measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee 7. breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no 8. vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound 9. knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be 10. classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be 11. dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be 12. promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be 13. executed as soon as possible. Addendum: That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd lines.

Aging with a Smile: Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first. My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it. I'm getting into swing dancing.. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging. It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker. I think I've reached my sexpiration date. People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life! Provided we get cable or that dish thing. These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief." I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for people my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty." Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

I flew all three of the 18 series airplanes at Rhein Main. I operated the cameras on the aircraft. Most people didn't know about the hidden doors and flir ball coming out of the aircraft. Or about the windows in the troop doors that were removable to install blister windows. Lots of interesting stuff... There is a good book out there called "Looking down the corridors"... it was written by Kevin Wright with help from a few of us "Berlin for Lunch Bunch"...... Very informative.

Interesting Quotes: Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. - Groucho Marx If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher In China, when you're one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you. - Bill Gates It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple. - Rabindranath Tagore The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you're finished. - Leslie Nielsen Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence. - Eddie Cantor We must take change by the hand or rest assuredly, change will take us by the throat. - Winston Churchill Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. - Lily Tomlin The worst thing that can happen to you can be the best thing for you, if you don't let it get the best of you. - Will Rogers If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you have ever tried. - Ricky Gervais There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. - Peter Drucker When you're certain you cannot be fooled, you become easy to fool. - Edward Teller History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. - Mark Twain This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful. - W. C. Fields If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men. - Mae West I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Winston Churchill It isn't pollution that is harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. - Dan Quayle Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco. - Will Rogers Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain You only get a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity so many times. - Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback Ike Taylor There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don't. - Robert Benchley I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - University of Kentucky Forward Winston Bennett In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not. - Albert Einstein If everybody's thinking the same thing, then nobody's thinking. - George S. Patton I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde Always drink upstream from the herd. - Will Rogers I had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. - Dan Quayle Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends. - Oscar Wilde I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." - Eleanor Roosevelt