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Sonny

Dilbert's words of wisdom

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Dilbert's words of wisdom
   
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

 

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Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

 

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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

 

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I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

 

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling
 
icon-6.gif My reality check bounced.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
 
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I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
 
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You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
 
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
 
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Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
 
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Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
 
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A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
 
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Don't irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

 

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After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

 

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The more junk you put up with, the more junk you are going to get.

 

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You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

 

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Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

 

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When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

 

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If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.

 

icon-3.gif Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous".

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