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Sonny

Stuff

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I got these from my friend Mel Copeland:

 

I lived in a houseboat for a while, and started seeing the girl next door. Eventually we drifted apart.
 
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic.I refused. If I'm going to have sex, it is going to be on my own Accord.
 
A man tried to sell me a coffin today.  I told him, that's the last thing I need.
 
The neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs.  We had been his customers for 8 years. We had no idea he was a barber.
 
 
100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.
Oh how the stables have turned.
    

My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."  "Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."  "No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had sex with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker"  "I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes." 
 

Did you hear about McDonald's trying to get into the high end steakhouse market?      It was a Big McSteak. 
  • Haha 1

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