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Dan Wilson

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A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment -- to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back to class and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One day we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a big mess."

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.

"Now, how about you, Lucy?"

"We're farmers, too. But we raise our chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."

"That was a fine story, Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma’am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.

Aunt Karen was a Radio Operator in Afghanistan and her

Plane got shot down. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she

had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and her combat knife. She drank the

whiskey on the way down since she thought the flask was gonna break. Then

She landed in the middle of a dozen enemy soldiers. She killed eight

of them with the pistol before she ran out of bullets, then she killed

three more with the knife before the blade broke, and then she killed the

last guy with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher," what did your daddy

say was the moral of that ghastly story?"

"Don't f**k with Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."

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