Classy Insults

[Sonny]

>He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices

>I admire."

>-- Winston Churchill

>

>"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."

>-- Winston Churchill

>

>"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries

>with great pleasure."

>-- Clarence Darrow

>

>"He has never been known to use a word that might send a

>reader to the dictionary."

>-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

>

>"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"

>-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

>

>"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste

>no time reading it."

>-- Moses Hadas

>

>"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of

>any man I know."

>-- Abraham Lincoln

>

>"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't

>it."

>-- Groucho Marx

>

>"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter

>saying I approved of it."

>-- Mark Twain

>

>"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his

>friends."

>-- Oscar Wilde

>

>"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new

>play, bring a friend... if you have one."

>-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

>

>"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...

>if there is one."

>-- Winston Churchill, in response

>

>"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having

>you here."

>-- Stephen Bishop

>

>"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

>-- John Bright

>

>"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's

>nothing trivial."

>-- Irvin S. Cobb

>

>"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness

>in others."

>-- Samuel Johnson

>

>"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

>-- Paul Keating

>

>"He had delusions of adequacy."

>-- Walter Kerr

>

>"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't

>cure."

>-- Jack E. Leonard

>

>"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."

>-- Robert Redford

>

>"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the

>sum of human knowledge."

>-- Thomas Brackett Reed

>

>"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by

>diligent hard work, he overcame them."

>-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

>

>"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded

>easily."

>-- Charles, Count Talleyrand

>

>"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

>-- Forrest Tucker

>

>"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any

>address on it?"

>-- Mark Twain

>

>"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

>-- Mae West

>

>"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever

>they go."

>-- Oscar Wilde

>

>"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...

>for support rather than illumination."

>-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

>

>"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

>-- Billy Wilder