Raising Boys

[Sonny]

The following came from an anonymous Mother in

Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill

a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run

over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200

adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the

motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy

wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape It is

strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to

spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the

ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a

bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times

before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a

baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't

stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh

oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and

lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire w ith a flint

rock even though a 36-year old man says they can

only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive

tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in

the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a

swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even

though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;

plastic toys do not

like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a

5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the

washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the

Clorox and brake fluid.

a) For those with no children - this is totally

hysterical!

For those who already have children past this

age, this is hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is not

funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age,

this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, there is

birth control

[tinwhistle]

Amen!!!!!!! We have (had, lost Jon to a motercycle accident) 4 boys! The thing that still amazes me is that they could whale the tar out of one another, but let some other kid lay a hand one one of them and the wrath of God would rain down on that poor kid!!!!!

I'll try the clorox and brake fluid in the morning. The marbles in the gas tank I'll set aside for someone I really take a dislike to!!!!!!!!