Female Marine Pilot

[Sonny]

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their

parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next

day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

Then only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine

pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over

enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, her service

.45 cal. automatic pistol, and a survival knife."

"She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break,

and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi

troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of

bullets, killed four more with the

knife, 'til the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her

bare hands."

''Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your Daddy tell

you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Don't mess with Mommy when she's been drinking."