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There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers, and the boss had to choose between a team of two Norwegian guys and a team of two Irish guys. So the boss met with both teams and said: "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day. The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job." Both teams headed right out. At end of the shift, Pat and Mike, the Irish guys, came back and the boss asked them how many they had installed. They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve. Forty-five minutes later, Ole and Sven, the Norwegian guys came back in and they were totally exhausted. The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys install?" Ole, the team leader, wiped his brow and sighed, "Sven and me, we got three in." The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Irish guys put in twelve!" "Yeah," said Ole, "but you should see how much they left stickin out of the ground!

These aren't Murphy's Laws but some of them should be: "The Law of Volunteering"--If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. "The Law of Avoiding Oversell"--When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. "The Law of Common Sense" --Never accept a drink from a urologist. "The Law of Reality" --Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. "The Law of Self Sacrifice" --When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. "The Law of Motivation" --Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. "Dick's Law" --You always find something in the last place you look. "Weiler's Law" --Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. "Law of Probable Dispersal" --Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. "Law of Volunteer Labor" --People are always available for work in the past tense. "Conway's Law" --In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. "Iron Law of Distribution" --Them that has, gets. "Law of Cybernetic Entomology" --There is always one more bug. "Law of Drunkenness" --You can't fall off the floor. "Peter's Law" --The first myth of management is that it exists. "Osborne's Law" --Variables won't; constants aren't. "Main's Law" --For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. "Weinberg's Second Law" --If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.