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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/28/2022 in Posts

  1. The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words as possible: The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought the window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it. The indirect cause of the crash was the little guy in a small car with a big mouth. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished. A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment. In and attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to crash. I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull. To avoid hitting the bumper in front of me, I struck the pedestrian. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car.
    1 point
  2. Mercedes Electric Car.mp4
    1 point
  3. The ingredients in Viagra: . Vitamin E 3% . Aspirin 2% . Ibuprofen 2% . Vitamin C 1% . Spray Starch 5% . Fix-A-Flat 87%
    1 point
  4. While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
    1 point
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