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Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?" Grandpa looks at him and says, "No Johnny, I will not." "But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies, "Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one to write to."

Definitions Male/Female: 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. a. female...Any part under a car's hood. b. male...The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. a. female...Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. b. male...Playing any sport without a "cup." 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. a. female...The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. b. male...Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys. 4. BUTT (but) n. a. female...The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger." b. male...What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, home run, or goal. Also good for mooning. 5. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n a. female...A desire to get married and raise a family. b. male...Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. 6. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. a. female...A good movie, concert, play or book. b. male...Anything that can be done while drinking. 7. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. a. female...An embarrassing by-product of digestion. b. male...An endless source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. a. female...A device for changing from one TV channel to another. b. male...A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 2 1/2 minutes. 19. FOOTBALL (fut-bol) n. a. female...An annoying 6 month long competition for a partner's attention. b. male...6 months off from spending time with what's her name.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The gentleman was your doctor."