Sonny Posted April 16, 2022 Share Posted April 16, 2022 Men Vs. Women: Toys: Women: Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men: Men never grow out of their toy obsession. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive, silly and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TVs. Car phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 "D" batteries to operate. Cameras: Men: Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes. Women: Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course, women always end up taking better pictures. Locker Rooms: Men: In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women. Women: They talk about one thing in the locker room - sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie. Movies: Women: Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. Men: The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him. Jewelry: Women: Women look nice when they wear jewelry. Men: A man can get away with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic. Conversation: Men: Men need a good disagreement to get talking. For instance, "Wow, great movie." or "What are you, nuts? No REAL cop would have an Uzi that size." Women: Women, not having this problem, try to initiate conversations with men by saying something agreeable: "That garden by the roadside looks lovely." "Mm hmm." Pause. "That was a good restaurant last night, wasn't it?" "Yeah." Pause. And so on. Leg Warmers: Women: Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants. Men: A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the "Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line." Friends: Women: Women on a girls' night out talk the whole time. Men: Men on a boy's night out say about twenty words all night, most of which are "Pass the Doritos" or "got any more beer?" Restrooms: Women: Women use restrooms as social lounges. Women who've never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. Women also go to the restroom in packs, at least two women at a time excuse themselves to use the restroom. Men: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Men in a restrooms will never speak a word to each other. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, "Hey, Tom, I was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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