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Insurance Claims


Sonny
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The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words as possible:
 
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
 
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
 
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
 
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
 
I thought the window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
 
The indirect cause of the crash was the little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
 
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.
 
A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.
 
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
 
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
 
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
 
In and attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
 
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
 
As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
 
I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to crash.
 
I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.
 
To avoid hitting the bumper in front of me, I struck the pedestrian.
 
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
 
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
 
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
 
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
 
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end..
 
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car.
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