Ponderings

[Sonny]

Ponderings:

 

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

 

Don`t think that you`re thinking. If you think that you're thinking you only think that you're thinking.

 

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

 

If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?

 

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?

 

Ever wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?

 

If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?

 

Being rich and it don't mean so much . Just look at Henry Ford, all those millions and he never owned a Cadillac!

 

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

 

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. Wouldn't a good response be to write . . . A Good Doctor!

 

Mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?

 

People seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. What are they doing? Cramming for finals?

 

Old age is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

 

Did Adam ever said to Eve, "Watch it! There are plenty more ribs where you came from!"

 

I drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol.

 

Everyone has a photographic memory. But some folks don't have film.

 

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?