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Red Neck Medical Terms


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Studies have demonstrated that rednecks have the lowest stress rate, perhaps because they do not understand the seriousness of most medical terminology:
Medical Term  Redneck Definition
Artery  The study of paintings
Bacteria  Back door to cafeteria
Barium  What doctors do when patients die
Benign  What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section  A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan  Searching for Kitty
Cauterize  Made eye contact with her
Colic  A sheep dog
Coma   A punctuation mark
Dilate To live long
Enema  Not a friend
Fester  Quicker than someone else
Fibula  A small lie
Impotent  Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain  Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff  A Doctor's cane
Morbid  A higher offer
Nitrates  Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
Normally more money than Days
Node  I knew it
Outpatient A person who has fainted
Pelvis  Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative  A letter carrier
Recovery Room  Place to do upholstery
Rectum  Nearly killed him
Secretion  Hiding something
Seizure  Roman Emperor
Tablet  A small table
Terminal Illness  Getting sick at the airport
Tumor  One plus one more
Urine  Opposite of you're out
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