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Red Neck Medical Terms


Sonny
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Studies have demonstrated that rednecks have the lowest stress rate, perhaps because they do not understand the seriousness of most medical terminology:
 
Medical Term  Redneck Definition
 
Artery  The study of paintings
 
Bacteria  Back door to cafeteria
 
Barium  What doctors do when patients die
 
Benign  What you be, after you be eight
 
Caesarean Section  A neighborhood in Rome
 
Cat scan  Searching for Kitty
 
Cauterize  Made eye contact with her
 
Colic  A sheep dog
 
Coma   A punctuation mark
 
Dilate To live long
 
Enema  Not a friend
 
Fester  Quicker than someone else
 
Fibula  A small lie
 
Impotent  Distinguished, well known
 
Labor Pain  Getting hurt at work
 
Medical Staff  A Doctor's cane
 
Morbid  A higher offer
 
Nitrates  Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
Normally more money than Days
 
Node  I knew it
 
Outpatient A person who has fainted
 
Pelvis  Second cousin to Elvis
 
Post Operative  A letter carrier
 
Recovery Room  Place to do upholstery
 
Rectum  Nearly killed him
 
Secretion  Hiding something
 
Seizure  Roman Emperor
 
Tablet  A small table
 
Terminal Illness  Getting sick at the airport
 
Tumor  One plus one more
 
Urine  Opposite of you're out
 
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