LAWS

[Sonny]

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch AND you'll have to go to the bathroom.

Law of Gravity: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity

of your act.

Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always

answers.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the

very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move

faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when

you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do

something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent

lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor

covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctor's Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. By the time

you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.