ALL PUNS INTENDED

[Sonny]

ALL PUNS INTENDED

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony

wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2 .A cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you,

but don't start anything.'

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says:

'A beer please, and one for the road.'

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this

taste funny to you?'

7. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That

sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common?

' Well, 'It's Not Unusual.'

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to

Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe you,'

says Dolly. 'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to

look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't

find any.

12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and

says, 'Dam!'

15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the

craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your

kayak and heat it too.

16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing

in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an

hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. 'But

why,' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand

chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

17. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes

to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in

Spain and is named 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his

birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she

wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They're

twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'