Half a Head of Lettuce

[Sonny]

A man walked into a supermarket, asking to buy half a head of

lettuce. The stock boy told him that they only sold whole heads

of lettuce, but the man was insistent: he did not need a whole

head, only a half head. The boy said he would go ask his manager

about the matter.

The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some

asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of

lettuce." As he finished speaking, he turned around to find the

man standing right behind him, so he added, "--and this

gentleman wants to buy the other half."

The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.

Afterward, the manager said "You almost got yourself in a lot of

trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you

got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that

around here. Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir".

"Oh really? Why did you leave Texas?" Asked the manager.

The boy said, "Nothing but whores and ball players down there."

"Hey!" Said the manager, "My wife is from Texas!!"

"No kidding!" Says the boy. "What team did she play for?"