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The Age of the 707

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This has been around for quite some time, but it;s still fun to read -- and sadly it's 100% true.

Don R.

The Age of the 707

(Go to the overrun and suck the gear up) 

 were the good ole days. Pilots back then were men that
didn't want to be
 women or girly men. Pilots all knew who
Jimmy Doolittle was. Pilots drank
 coffee, whiskey, smoked
cigars and didn't wear digital watches.

 carried their own suitcases and brain bags, like the
real men they were.
 Pilots didn't bend over into the
crash position multiple times each day in
 front of the
passengers at security so that some Gov't agent could
 for tweezers or fingernail clippers or too much

Pilots did not go through the terminal impersonating a
 pulling a bunch of golf clubs, computers, guitars, and feed
 full of tofu and granola on a sissy-trailer with no hat
and granny glasses
 hanging on a pink string around their
pencil neck while talking to their
 personal trainer on the
cell phone!!!

Being an airline Captain was as
 good as being the King in a
Mel Brooks movie. All the Stewardesses (aka.
 Attendants ) were young, attractive, single women that were
proud to
 be combatants in the sexual revolution. They didn't
have to turn sideways,
 grease up and suck it in to get
through the cockpit door. They would blush,
and say thank you, when told that they looked good, instead of filing a
 harassment claim. 
Junior Stewardesses shared a room and
 about men.... with no thoughts of substitution. 
Passengers wore nice clothes and were polite; they could
speak AND understand English. They didn't
 speak gibberish or
listen to loud gangsta rap on their IPods. They bathed
 didn't smell like a rotting pile of garbage in a jogging
suit and
Children didn't travel alone, commuting
between trailer parks.
There were no Biggest Losers asking for
a seatbelt extension or a Scotch and
 grapefruit juice
cocktail with a twist.
If the Captain wanted to throw some offensive, ranting jerk
off the airplane, it was done without any
 worries of a
lawsuit or getting fired.

Axial flow engines crackled with the sound of freedom and
left an impressive black smoke trail like a
burning soft coal. Jet fuel was cheap and once the
 were pushed up they were left there. After all, it was the
 age and the idea was to go fast (run like a lizard on a
hardwood floor).

"Economy cruise" was something in the
performance book, but no one knew why or
 where it was. When
the clacker went
 off, no one got all tight and scared because
Boeing built it out of iron. Nothing was going to fall off
that sound had the same effect on real pilots then, as
Viagra does now for
 these new age guys.

There was very little plastic and no composites on
 airplanes (or the Stewardesses' pectoral regions). Airplanes
and women
 had eye-pleasing symmetrical curves, not a bunch
of ugly vortex generators,
 ventral fins, winglets, flow
diverters, tattoos, rings in their nose, tongues
 and eyebrows.

Airlines were run by men like C.R. Smith, Juan
Trippe, and Bob Six,
 had built their companies virtually from scratch, knew most
of their
 employees by name, and were lifetime airline
employees themselves.. ..not pseudo
 financiers and bean
counters who flit from one occupation to another for a
 bucks, a better parachute or a fancier title, while
 believing that they are a class of beings unto

And so it was back then....and never will be again! 
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