Blonde Joke!!

[Sonny]

A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peel off prize. She pulls off the tab and yells, 'I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!'

The waitress runs over and says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a mini van!"

The not very intelligent young lady replies, "No. I WON A motor home, I WON a motor home!"

By this time the manager makes his way over to the table and says, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor homes because we didn't have that as a prize!"

Again the not very intelligent young lady says, "No, no mistake, I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!" The not very intelligent young lady hands the prize ticket to the manager and

he reads, "WIN A BAGEL."

[HercMX]

                          SPEAKING GERMAN IN TEXAS

           In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels , where there 
           is a large German-speaking population. One day, a local 
           rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his 
           hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.

 

 The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: 

"Sehr angenehm!   Trink das Wasser nicht. 

  Die kuehe haben darein geschissen."

Which means: "Glad to meet you! 

Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it." 
  The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down 
  here setting up Hillary’s presidential campaign.  

 I can't understand you. Please speak in English." 
                          The rancher replied: "Use both hands."