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LAWS FOR ENGINEERS
Engineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your entertainment. The authors are unknown (or perhaps wish to remain unknown). We thank them for their insight into real-world broadcasting. GRUNDMAN'S LAW -- Under the most carefully controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, humidity and other variables, the system will perform as it damn well pleases. KNIGHT'S LAW -- A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. HIDLEY'S LAW -- Nothing is impossible for a man who doesn't have to do the work. DUNCAN'S LAW -- When in doubt, mumble. EVAN'S LAW -- Every man has a scheme that will not work. HULKO'S LAW -- A theory is better than its explanation. STORYK'S LAW -- The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office. WORAM'S LAW -- Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. NORDAHL'S LAW -- Everything goes wrong at once. EMERMAN'S LAW -- In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course. TARSIA'S LAW -- The obvious answer is always overlooked. SNODDY'S LAW -- It works better if you plug it in. HARRISON'S LAW -- There is always an easy answer to every problem-- neat, plausible, and wrong. MEADOW'S LAW -- It won't work. WESTLAKE'S LAW -- The first 90 percent of the project takes 90 percent of the time, and the last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent. HARNED'S LAW -- Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can. SCHNEE'S LAW -- Anything that begins well will end badly. (Note: The converse of this law is not true.) STONE'S LAW -- Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows. GOLDEN'S LAW -- A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. PERRY'S LAW -- If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. GARAY'S LAW -- An object will fall so as to do the most damage. KELSEY'S LAW -- Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert. LIGHTNER'S LAW -- If it happens, it must be possible. GUY'S LAW -- The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability. MOYSSIADIS' LAW -- As soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens . CAPPS' LAW -- If it can find a way to wear out faster, it will. LIPPELL'S LAW -- If a research project is not worth doing, it is not worth doing well. NEUMANN'S LAW -- Whoever has the gold makes the rules. CALBI'S LAW -- Nothing is as easy as it looks. MARINO'S LAW -- Everything takes longer than you think it will. TODRANK'S LAW -- There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who do not. BROSIOUS' LAW -- The components you have will expand to fill the available space. INGOLDSBY'S LAW -- You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. MERTEN'S LAW -- The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing. ZENTZ'S LAW -- Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out. LUDWIG'S LAW -- The other line moves faster. DOZIER'S LAW -- Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results. ** RETTINGER'S LAW** -- Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example. RICKER'S LAW -- Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail the same way. BODEN'S LAW -- If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. HANSCH'S LAW -- Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. EBERLE'S LAWS -- 1. Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse. 2. No matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to fake it. 3. No matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to his pet theory. 4. No matter what the result, someone is always eager to misinterpret it. FULGINITI'S LAW -- In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion. SAX'S LAW -- All laws are basically false. -
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GREAT REASONS TO BE A GUY
GREAT REASONS TO BE A GUY: Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. Everything on your face stays its original color. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me." Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?" You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You don't have to shave below your neck. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. -
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CDS Anchor Cable Stop
I read some manual written as "CDS(breakaway) - Position both anchor cable stops at LS1173 and wrap with tape." I know generally both anchor cable stops position is different. Is it correct to position stops same? If so, what's the reason? -
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What Gender is A Computer?
What Gender is A Computer?: A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ''House'' for instance, is feminine: ''la casa.'' ''Pencil,'' however, is masculine: "el lapiz.'' A student asked, ''What gender is 'computer'?'' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ''computer'' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the feminine gender (''la computadora''), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (''el computador''), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won!!! -
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Aircraft tyre
What are the probable cause for this condition of aircraft main wheel tyre? It happened only on one tyre out of two at rt side just after touchdown. All reacti
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LAWS FOR ENGINEERS
By Sonny · PostedEngineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your entertainment. The authors are unknown (or perhaps wish to remain unknown). We thank them for their insight into real-world broadcasting. GRUNDMAN'S LAW -- Under the most carefully controlled condit -
GREAT REASONS TO BE A GUY
By Sonny · PostedGREAT REASONS TO BE A GUY: Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. -
What Gender is A Computer?
By Sonny · PostedWhat Gender is A Computer?: A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ''House'' for instance, is feminine: ''la casa.'' ''Pencil,'' however, is masculine: "el lapiz.'' -
Real flight announcements
By Sonny · PostedReal flight announcements: Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay
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