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The Prescription


Sonny
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A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.

The pharmacist asks, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady explains that she needs it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he replies, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!"

With that the lady reaches into her purse and pulls out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looks at the picture and replies, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

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A young pharmacist was on his first day at work, and the senior pharmacist tells him he has to step out of the store for a few minutes. "If any customers come in for prescriptions, have them wait 'til I get back, I want to watch you until I am comfortable with your work."

Shortly after he leaves, a customer comes in and says, " I have this terrible cough, and when I get it, the pharmacist who is usually here makes up a special mixture that works so well."

The young guy says, " Well, he is out for a little bit, can you wait until he comes back?"

" No, I don't have time, can you do something? You ARE a pharmacist, too, right?"

"Okay," says the young one and proceeds to mix some stuff up and gives it to the customer, who immediately takes a dose and leaves.

The old one comes back, hears the story, and jumps on the young one." What did you mix up?"

"Well, some of this purple stuff, some of this pink stuff, some of this clear stuff, and some peppermint for flavor."

"You idiot!!!!!!!!!! Those are some of the most potent laxatives in the world.They are not cough medicines!!!!! Where did the customer go?""

"Well," the young man says, " He is right across the street and he is AFRAID to cough.

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A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman

he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her

sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.

She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.

The man said, "This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection

that causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering

what you could give me for it?"

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "The best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the

store and $5,000 in cash."

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A young man started out in civil engineering, then decided he wanted to be a pharmacist.... An old family friend comes into the pharmacy one day and says " Hey, remember me?? I was a friend of your family years ago, Haven't seen you in a long time. Thought you were gonna be a civil engineer? Anyway, I came in for a very good laxative, I am really bound up."

"Well', the young man says," I decided there was way too much math in engineering. But I can fix you up with something, okay how long does it take you to get home/"

"Oh about fifteen minutes."

"How far from where you park your car to the front doo of your house?"

I guess forty feet."

"Do you have a bathroom on the first floor of your house, and if so, how far is it from your front door?"

"Well, it is on the first floor, maybe twenty feet from the door, but what does that have to do with a laxaxtive."

"oh just getting some information. Here drink this and go straight home."

About fifteen minutes later the phamacist gets a call from the customer who says" Damn, boy, you shoulda stayed in engineering, you only missed the toilet by about two feet!!!!!!!!!""""""""""

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