Sonny Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way. Banning the bra was a big flop. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative. My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. Sea captains don't like crew cuts. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. Now it's syncing. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst kind. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-O. We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mt.crewchief Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Those were some good ones Sonny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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