Sonny

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.

As they lay down for the night, Holmes said

†Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

Ken,

Did you know Tom Talbert from the 35th.?? He was there until Sept. '68. I believe he was a Crew Chief.

Sonny

Ken,

Ran into a few from Facebook. They have a Naha site and they post some pictures that really bring back memories.

Sonny

Ken,

The berets were around in '68. I still have mine but never wore it.

Would love to hear the song.

Sonny

Dan,

I am praying they got it right this time. No one should have to go through what you did. I hate it when I have to be at the mercy of someone else.

Sonny

I always look closely at the troops pictured in old photos that members post and up till now have not recoginized anyone. I knew if I kept looking would one day find someone I knew and lo and behold believe I've suceeded.

Believe the officer in the second row second from the right is a good fellow named Davidson. In the front row second from the right the SSgt is, I believe a flight line troop whose name is Gregorio. The three of us where stationed together at the AFFTC in the AMST IOT&E test team from 75 till 78.

I would be extremely grateful if someone here could confirm if I'm correct and any info about these guys after 1978.

Larry,

I believe you are right on Gregorio, he was the Crew Chief when I was there in '67-'68.

Sonny

There was no difference at all in the four squadrons at Naha. We all did the same thing except that each squadron had its own special operations missions. We rotated to Cam Ranh Bay and Bangkok and flew whatever airplane happened to be available. Enlisted crewmembers all lived in the same barracks and in the same hooche at Cam Ranh.

Sam,

As you yourself said, each squadron had it's own special missions, so that made each one different in my opinion. You are speaking from a flight crew point of view and Ken and I are speaking from a maintenance point of view.

Sonny

Sam,

Yes there was a difference in the four squadrons!!!! The 35th had me, and Sonny always wished it had him too!!!!!

What do ya say to that Sonny!!!!

Ken

Sorry Ken,

The 21st is the only squadron I wanted to be in. Had a lot of friends in the 35th but I never held that against them!!!

Sonny

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "

If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant.

As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer,

"Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!"

"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."

"But, I did send them."

"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.

"Yes. That's how we won the case."

"I don't understand," said the lawyer.

"It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."

An elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn't have long to live.

So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate:

1. His Doctor

2. His Priest

3. His Lawyer.

He said, "Well, today I found out I don't have long to live.

So, I have summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life, and I need to ask a favor.

Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with $50,000 dollars inside.

When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave."

After the man passed on, the three people happened to run into each other.

The doctor said,

"I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money. He owed me from lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested. "

The Priest said,

"I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. It’s all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in the grave."

Well the Lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing!

"I am surprised at you two for taking advantage of him like that. I wrote a check for the full amount and threw it all in!!!"

Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence.

One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida.

They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,

then works some figures with a pencil.

"Well," he says. "I figure the job will run about $900:

$400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,

"I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and

$100 profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to

the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other

guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

$1,000 for me and $1,000 for you and we hire the guy from Tennessee."

THE BOTTLE OF WINE

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

'What in bag?' asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:

'Good trade.....'

bbsoto,

No problem. Glad you enjoyed it.

Sonny

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas.

Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on

sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He

walks into the house and says to his wife: "Notice anything different

about me?"

Bessie looks him over and says, "Nope."

Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom; undresses and walks

back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he

asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"

Bessie looks up and says, "Ray, what's different? It's hanging down

today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again

tomorrow."

Furious, Ray yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, BESSIE?

IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat."

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest has fallen into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship.

He sends a signal: “Change your course 10 degree east.â€

The light signals back: “Change yours, 10 degrees west.â€

Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!â€

“I’m a seaman, second class,†comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.â€

Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!â€

here is one last reply.

“I’m a lighthouse. Your call.â€

This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide. They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo. Well, the guy has his doubts, but Hey! He needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around. During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!" The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!

SHOPPING:

A man walks up to a store clerk and asks "In what aisle could I find

the Polish sausage?"

The clerk Looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, (clearly offended) says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you

something, if I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was

Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I

was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I

was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was

Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"

The clerk says, "Well, no!"

"If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

"Well, I probably wouldn't!"

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well then why did

you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for a Polish sausage?"

The clerk replies, "Because you're at Home Depot."

I like your version better.

Dan,

Truly classic's. Still laughing!!! Thanks.

Sonny

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the

judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied: a can of peaches.

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was

hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband

spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. He said, " What is

it? "

The husband said "She also stole a can of peas

Sean is the pastor of a Church of England parish in Northern Ireland and Patrick is the priest in the Catholic church just across the border. One day they are seen together, erecting a sign beside the road that says:

TA END IS NEAR!

TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW

AFOR IT IS TOO LATE!

As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, "Leave people alone, you Oirish religious nutters! We don't need your lectures."

From the next curve they hear screeching tyres and a big splash.

Shaking his head, Father Patrick says, ''Dat's da terd one dis mornin.'"

"Yaa," Pastor Sean agrees, then asks: "Do ya tink maybe da sign should just say, 'Bridge Out?'

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins.

He pulls the guy over and says,

"You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."

The guy says okay, and drives away.

The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins -- and they're all wearing sunglasses. He pulls the guy over and demands,

"I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"

The guy replies,

"I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer." the man began, "I can explain,".

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..."

"But officer, I just wanted to say...."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said,

"Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven:

don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It

is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best

to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a

duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes

St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He

chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all

eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter

comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very

tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you

for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!