Sonny

Things You Read on T-Shirts: Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound as they go flying by. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person. I Haven't Lost My Mind. It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You become Santa Claus. 4) You start to look like Santa Claus. Some days you are the pigeon. Some days you are the statue. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult The money is always greener in the other guy’s wallet. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? Too many freaks. Not enough circuses. She Who MUST be obeyed Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work is done here. I thought I wanted a career. It turns out I just wanted a pay check. When money talks, no one criticizes its accent. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. My reality check bounced. I love my cat. My cat does not care. If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else And Seek Counselling. My bank account needs month-to-month resuscitation. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier. Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe in chocolate. Only in America, could a letter offering a million dollar prize be considered junk mail. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals, on the other hand, built the Titanic. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. If I throw a stick, will you leave? Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. A closed mouth gathers no foot. Don't worry about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it’s all about? Think nobody knows you're alive? Try missing a payment. Does it scare you that you are looking for wisdom from a T-shirt? And your cry baby whiny-butt opinion would be...? I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning. Nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. No one pays attention until you make a mistake. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready. Stamp Out Crime. Abolish the IRS. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. What am I? Fly paper for freaks? I'm not rude. You're just insignificant. If I save time, when do I get it back? A.S.A.P. means Always Say A Prayer. Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.

herky130fe, Go to your bio page and under the column "Basic Information" click on the icon next to the item you want to edit and you will get a pop up screen to make your changes. Be sure to save it after you are done. Hope his helps, Sonny

That was what they were considering. Commander couldn't understand why someone would go AWOL in country. After I explained (actually told the truth!!) what I had done he went through a tirade about how stupid I was and how bad it would have looked if something had happened. I have some more pictures from that trip I will have to post later. It was a lot of fun at time and I had some real fine meals. The Navy sure knows how to eat! Sonny

Tickle Me Elmo There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..." "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

Ken, Here's one for you. Spent two days on a Swift Boat out of CRB with a friend from the 35th (his cousin was on the Swift Boat). Was only supposed to be gone for a couple of hours. My plane (56-0489) rotated back to the rock without me. AP's took me into custody and made sure I was on the next flight to Naha. Had some 'splaining to do to the line chief (MSgt. Tanner) and the squadron commander. Sgt. Tanner saved my ass. Sonny

Beer Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." -- Babe Ruth An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. -- Ernest Hemingway When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Paul Hornung 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. -- H.L. Mencken When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! -- George Bernard Shaw Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -- Benjamin Franklin Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -- Dave Barry Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c. -- W.C. Fields Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. -- Professor Irwin Corey To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can! -- Leo Durocher

Did they look like this? These were all over the island.

Ken, I flew with the plane every other night at Ubon. The way we worked it was the CC or ACC flew the mission and worked until the plane was OR. The the other would come in time to meet the crew and fly that night and work the plane until she was OR for the next mission. Made for a long day but that left us with a little time to look around the base and/or take a trip downtown to take in a little culture. Sonny PS I rode the maintenance vehicle to and from the barracks. If I missed my ride I walked!!

donwon, Look forward to seeing your pictures. Sonny

My karma ran over your dogma . A fool and his money are a girl's best friend. I'm not driving fast-just flying low. Help starve a feeding bureaucrat. My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird! Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery . "I is a college student." If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you. Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW! Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible? Life is too complicated in the morning. All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her. Ask me about my vow of silence. Today's subliminal message is: ( ) I love animals, they taste great . EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later . Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest! Give me ambiguity or give me something else. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep. Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT! Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. When there's a will, I want to be in it! It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Forget about World Peace....visualize using your turn signal. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Born free... taxed to death. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore. HORN DOES NOT WORK- WATCH FOR FINGER! Don't blame me! I didn't vote! Mopeds are like fat women. Fun to ride but you don't want to be seen with em! Don't drink and drive.... You might hit a bump and spill your drink. My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student!

Ken/Topbolts, Just added a Ubon album. Wish I had taken more but seems like I never had enough time to take pictures at Ubon. Sonny

My pleasure. Sonny

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine. 12. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! 17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 18. Procrastinate Now! 19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. 25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true) 27. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 29. I smile because I don't know what is going on.

Naha AB Maps

Ken, Glad you liked them. I know I have some more and a few from Ubon. Knew Glover in passing. Think he was in the 35th. Peffer, Warnick, Howell and I were in the 21st. I was the only Sgt. crewing in the 21st while I was there. All the rest were Staff and above. Yes, the mail room was in a quonset hut near the flight line if I remember correctly. Some of them were used as classrooms for the schools. Sonny

Ken, I just put an album of Naha pictures (they would only let me put up 25) from 1967-68. Take a look. Sonny

Thoughts for Today Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then sh*t on your car. A penny saved is a government oversight. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .. He who hesitates is probably right. Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...' Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth . . . .AMEN!

The Husband Store ... A store that sells new husbands has opened in Manchester, just off Elm Street where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework... 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor... This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association. A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him. "What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor. "Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?" "A rose?" asked the neighbor. "Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

Electric Train A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

Thanks to my friend Tom Talbert (from the old 35th TCS/TAS) for sending this to me. Teens have theirs, now seniors have their own texting codes (LOL OMG e.g.). I thought the following listing was appropriate ... after all the kids have all their little codes...like BFF, LOL, etc. So here are some codes for seniors: * ATD - At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW - Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM - Covered by Medicare * CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center * DWI - Driving While Incontinent * FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * FYI - Found Your Insulin * GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low * GHA - Got Heartburn Again * HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement * IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On? * LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out * LOL - Living on Lipitor * LWO - Lawrence Welk's On * OMMR - On My Massage Recliner * OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas * ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up! * TOT - Texting on Toilet * TTYL - Talk to You Louder * WAITT - Who Am I Talking To? * WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again * WTP - Where're the Prunes * WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in)

The question of whether or not a crew chief flew with his aircraft has come up many times and the answers never seem to be the same. I can only speak for myself. I and sometimes my assistant (sometimes both of would go) flew with my airplane where ever it went. We worked her til she was ready to fly and flew with her. Slept whenever we could and helped the loadmaster and FE whenever it was necessary. I almost never left my aircraft while it was at CRB. Too many scavengers (me included!) looking for things!! Would sleep with all the entrance doors locked with tie down straps so I wouldn't lose anything. The vast majority of flight crews were really good and easy to work with. I had a few that you could tell did not want to fly and would look for a reason to turn down your aircraft (such as missing tie down straps and chains). The crew chief and assistant both went to Ubon for the Blindbat missions. Each day one worked her and the other flew with her as a flare kicker. We would alternate days. Been lots of discussions about whether or not crew chiefs were flare kickers. Seems it depends on when you flew the mission. I was in the 21st and MSgt. George Tanner was my Chief and he allowed me to do it this way. This was during the '67-'68 time frame. Can't speak about before or after that. Can't speak for the other squadrons. Just my two cents. Sonny

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that....... * she called me to get my phone number. * she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate." * she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. *she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. *she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. *she tried to drown a fish. *she thought a quarterback was a refund. *she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. *she tripped over a cordless phone. *she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. *she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. *she studied for a blood test. *she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. *when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. *when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. *when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to his old man. "Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years."

Sorry Ken. I will keep looking to see if I can find it. It has to be out there somewhere! Sonny