bbsoto

This may be old but it made me laugh! With that said, I thought I would share it all of you.

Enjoy!

Husband banned from Target

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called..

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

My wife got it in an email and I thought i'd share it. See below:

BBQ Rules:

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...

(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

Thanks George,

Gotta love those rules!!!!!! I have saved it and will be sure to pass it on to my friends.

Disregard multiple post

Hey George

Where did you find this picture, I like it so much I posted it on my "facebook" page. I think it would make a great birthday or anniversary gift.

Bruce

"Buddha" Caldwell was an O-6 Operations Officer for the 316 TAG at Yokota in the late 80's. I had several conversations with him while I was the MACLO for the III MEF.

He was my CO in the 62nd in '84. Don't remember when he left.

For two days I have been having problems with the site. Is anyone else? What is going on?

Thanks

Bob

I also have been having problems. Something about the the server being busy or insufficient capacity. It is a "message 503".

Bruce

I will adding a print viewer that will allow visitors to zoom in on low resolution proofs and view the image at full resolution. Below is a link to a test version. Please let me know what ya' think.

http://www.herkybirds.com/printviewer/MC-130E V2 B/viewer.html

Casey,

That is awesome.

My son was promoted BLZ to E-4 and was selected Moody AFB Airman of the Year 2009. He is a Combat Medic.

Great news, my congratulations as well.

Maybe a 1 year tour in the areas he claims.... without pay... on the ground as a point man!

THAT SOUNDS FAIR....

I think that sounds good also. Makes me sick to hear about this.

Congratulations on both!!!!

Thanks Casey,

This looks great! I'm not sure about patch changes. I don't know if the 1st. SOS wore the PACAF patch, someone else is going to have to checkin with a response for that. I'm resending my picture via email.

Bruce

Hi Casey,

Great Job, the two things I saw that might be changed were removing the forward top antenna where the IFR slipway should be and adding the 2 pods under the external tanks. If you still have the copy of the picture you adjusted for my avatar it might be of some help. I can resend the picture via email if needed.

Thanks,

Bruce

Also forgot we had longwire HF antennas.

Hi Casey,

Could you do one of the MC-130E with the regular radome. (i.e. 1st. SOS acft. 0564 or 0565)

Thanks, I crewed the Blackbirds at Kadena back in the late 70's with Steve Booe.

Bruce

Well said NATOPS1. I think your statement sums it up quite nicely.

Hi Jake,

Yes, I was there with George. I enjoyed working with him, missed both he and Scott Betts when they did not return for the second time in '89.

Bruce

As a C/C I was engine run qualified on the C-130 at Hickam and Eglin, I was never able to taxi. But while TDY to VXE-6 as a Flight Engineer in the late 80's, I was both engine run and taxi qualified. You got love how the Navy empowers their FE's. Maybe Vic Potts or someone from the Navy will chime in their FE responsibilities.

Great post! But oh so true.

Tiny,

Let me add my wishes for a speedy recovery as well. Glad to hear that the surgery was a success.

Bruce

Casey,

Thanks for the update.

Prescott in Myrtle Beach and Tepper in Crestview appear to be 2 different companies. Note appear! working for the same boss. Tepper seems to be operating at least 4 L-100's and Prescott 2. I have no real accurate info on them.

Bob

These could alll be phony:

Tepper 4582-N2731G;5027-N3796B; 4796-N2679C; 4684-N3867X

Prescott 5032-N3755P; 5055-N8213G

I'm not sure about Prescott, I'm pretty sure one of our members "Steve 1300" was or is working for Tepper in Crestview. Steve if you are out there how about an update?

Sign in and let our fallen Brothers and Sisters know that we will never forget them. Know they made the ultimate sacrifice.

I will be at the West Hawaii Veteran's Cemetery on the "Big Island" of Hawaii with my Boy Scout Troop doing our part to Honor those who gave their all.

May they rest in peace,

Bruce Soto, TSgt, USAF Retired

Scoutmaster Boy Scout Troop 79

Hat's off to you Casey. A well deserved promotion, keep up the good work.

It was Aug of 1985. The plane was on Down Wind and asked to make a 360 to allow for a Tanker to take off. This broke the crews regular routine with the student pilots. The tower had some Base Ops guys working in the tower for some reason I don't remember. They were discussing if the gear was down or not. Plane landed on center line, but had a problem taxing. I don't remember any talk about the circuit breaker being pulled. I took the check books and clothes up to the crew during an afternoon pilot pro from the 16th.

I could be wrong about the c/b being pulled that was a long time ago.

I believe this a true story. It happened when they were on rote on a Turkey Trot mission. I think the accident report listed the cause as a lightning strike. I also heard that this crash was caused by a missile. I'm sure someone will give you the straight scoop. It's been long time so I might be wrong.

I remember crews landing with parts of the gear up to mechanical reasons but were there any Herk unintentional gear up landings? I confess I came close one time.

Bob

Hi Bob,

I think the 16th did one at Blytheville, AR in the late 80's. Not sure but I think the Engineer pulled the c/b for the warning horn while doing Touch and Go's.