Sonny

Found this on the Hercules Headquarters Board. Hopefully his e-mail is still good. Worth a try! Sonny Re: John Wayne (01/07/04 15:53:14) I have a copy of it somewhere. I was in it when it was made in 1971 I believe. I was a Loadmaster with the 50th. You can e-mail me with our name, address and phone number and I will see if I can get you a copy made.. Bill Marks [email protected]

What is Generation Y?

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you Into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, You're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, In case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world Who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going To get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP.. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, Don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, You'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think You were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope They turn out just like you" "

John Deere Tractor

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You know you're getting old... ________________________________________ 1. You and your teeth don't sleep together. 2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any. 3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal. 4. Your back goes out but you stay home. 5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture. 6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. 7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. 8. When happy hour is a nap. 9. When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your money does. 10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to You, and you always hated it. 11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age. 12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. 13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up. 14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. 15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer. 16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr. 17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. 18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend. 19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot. 20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals. 21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good. 22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work. 23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time. 24. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. 25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good. 26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore. 27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. 28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

Christmas Remote Control

Amen to that!!

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,Kentuckians, Tennesseans, OKies, Texans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS . And furthermore HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a ' BREASTED AMERICAN.' 2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.' 4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.' 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.' 6. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.' HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.' 2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN .' 3. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.' 5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' (Loved this one!) 6. It's not his 'Butt Crack' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

Mission: Go to GAP, Buy a Pair of Jeans

Giz, It rocked here in Hyattsville, MD. Of course, I'm only about 4 miles from Washington, DC. Surprised you didn't feel it. Sonny

I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year. Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel. I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the channels. I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed. I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces. I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking your nose. Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I've consumed over the years. I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program . I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St.Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I' m pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for or which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan . I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a rapist waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician..

Is that anything like that menage a trois I heard about?

Well, you know what they (whoever "they" is) say, you write about what you know. So............

You Know You're Getting Old When... You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. You can live without sex, but not without glasses. Your back goes out more than you do. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You buy a compass for the dash of your car. You are proud of your lawn mower. Your best friend is dating someone half their age... And isn't breaking any laws. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. You sing along with the elevator music. You would rather go to work than stay home sick. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. People call at 9 pm. And ask, "Did I wake you?" You answer a question with "Because I said so!" You send money to PBS. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants. You take a metal detector to the beach. You wear black socks with sandals. You know what the word equity means. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television. Your ears are hairier than your head. You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn. You get into a heated argument about pension plans. You got cable for the weather channel. You can go bowling without drinking.

Sam, I think it was C-130E 62-1838. It crashed in '95 near Bliss, Idaho. Sonny

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota , Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half- baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

ALL PUNS INTENDED 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2 .A cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.' 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: 'A beer please, and one for the road.' 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you?' 7. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common? ' Well, 'It's Not Unusual.' 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe you,' says Dolly. 'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy. 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any. 12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel. 13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!' 15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. 'But why,' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.' 17. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain and is named 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure." The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs . I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week " My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker. These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief." Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. --- THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

donwon, Can't speak about 533 in '65. I became her Crew Chief in Jan. 1968. She was already a black bottom flareship. Sonny

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch AND you'll have to go to the bathroom. Law of Gravity: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. The Starbucks Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance: If the shoe fits, it's ugly. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking: A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. Doctor's Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. By the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 14. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 15. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 16. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 20. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? 21. Why do psychics have to ask you your name? 22. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?' 23. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 24. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 25. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Found a picture of 533 in the hanger at Tachi, March 1968 Sonny

The only time I was at Tachi was when I had to take 56-0533 there to have the ECM equipment installed. Sonny

Tusker, If the .jpg I posted is not what you are looking for, try this: Purchasing Air Force Badges and Wings If you wish to buy squadron badges, trade wings, or all manner of miscellany, please contact: Curator National Air Force Museum of Canada CFB Trenton, P.O. Box 1000 Station. Forces Astra, Ontario K0K 3W0 Phone: (613) 965-2140 Fax: (613) 965-7352 You may also write directly to a Squadron at 8 Wing to acquire squadron patches, t-shirts, or ball-caps. Hope this helps you in your quest, Sonny