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Navy -- then & now


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I am soooo glad I'm retired (for the last 24 years). I don't think I could put up with this crap.

Although the following pertains to the Navy, it's also a description of all services.

Don R.

Then - If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.

Now - If you smoke, you get sent outside and treated like a leper, if you're lucky.

Then - Mail took weeks to come to the ship.

Now - Every time you get near land, there's a mob topside to see if their cell phones work.

Then - If you left the ship it was in blues or whites, even in home port.

Now - The only time you wear blues or whites is for ceremonies.

Then - You wore bellbottoms everywhere on the ship.

Now - Bellbottoms are gone and 14 year-old girls wear them everywhere.

Then - You wore a Dixie cup all day; with every uniform.

Now - It's not required and you have a choice of different hats.

Then - If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.

Now - If you say "damn" you'd better be talking about a hydroelectric plant.

Then -The ship's office yeoman had a typewriter on his desk for doing daily reports.

Now - Everyone has a computer with Internet access and they wonder why no work is getting done.

Then - We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home.

Now - We put the real thing in the cockpit.

Then - Your girlfriend was at home praying you would return alive.

Now - She is on the same ship praying your condom worked.

Then - If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the ship so you could sleep it off.

Now - If you get drunk off duty, they slap you in rehab and ruin your career.

Then - Canteens were made out of steel and you could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.

Now - Canteens are made of plastic, you can't heat them because they'll melt and anything inside always tastes like plastic.

Then - Our top officers were professional sailors first. They commanded respect.

Now - Our top officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.

Then - They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.

Now - They collect our pee and analyze it.

Then - If you didn't act right, they'd put you on extra duty until you straightened up.

Now - If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.

Then - Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.

Now - Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.

Then - You slept in a barracks, like a soldier.

Now - You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.

Then - You ate in a mess hall or galley. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted.

Now - You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.

Then - If you wanted to relax, you went to the rec center, played pool, smoked and drank beer.

Now -You go to the community center and can still play pool -- maybe.

Then - If you wanted a quarter beer and conversation, you could go to the chief's or officers' club.

Now - The beer will cost you three dollars and someone is watching to see how much you drink.

Then - The Exchange had bargains for sailors who didn't make much money.

Now - You can get better merchandise and cheaper at Wal-Mart.

Then - If an Admiral wanted to make a presentation, he scribbled down some notes and a yeoman spent an hour preparing a bunch of charts.

Now - The Admiral has his entire staff spending days preparing a Power Point presentation.

Then - We called the enemy things like "Commie Bastards" and "Reds" because we didn't like them.

Now - We call the enemy things like "Opposing Forces" and "Aggressors or Insurgents" so we won't offend them.

Then - We declared victory when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.

Now - We declare victory when the enemy says he is sorry and won't do it again.

Then - A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.

Now - A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.

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  • 4 years later...

I could really lay a passel of Rants and no raves on this subject. But, I'll just write-Political Correctness which is always STUPIDITY has far and away reduced our military effectiveness, no matter what the dunderhead senior military and politicians may counter with.

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When I was first in, the person in the squadron you most wanted to be like was the bruiser who could kick the most ass and drink the most beer. And I repeatedly attempted to achieve this high honor and almost succeeded a couple of times.

I think you read a page from my diary......

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