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118th AES Retired

C-130 Humor

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Contol: 'AF1733, You are on an eight mile final for 27R. You have a UH-1 three miles ahead of you on final; reduce speed to 130 knots.'

Pilot: 'Rogo', Frankfurt. We're bringing this big bird back to one-hundred and thirty knots fer ya.'

Cont: (a few moments later): 'AF33, helicopter traffic at 90 knots now11/2 miles ahead of you; reduce speed further to 110 knots.'

Pilot: 'AF thirty-three reining this here bird back further to 110 knots'

Cont: 'AF33, you are three miles to touchdown, helicopter traffic now 1 mile ahead of you; reduce speed to 90 knots'

Pilot (a little miffed): 'Sir, do you know what the stall speed of this here C-130 is?'

Cont: 'No, but if you ask your co-pilot, he can probably tell you.'

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Propwash, elbow grease, various sizes of sky hooks, and the old

favourite ....... a long wait - usually around 3 hours :rofl:

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Let's see, can of vacuum (can smashed flat), brass magnet, 30' of flight line and at Keesler in the Triangle a 7/16 inch bay cutter (the adjustable one was always checked out). For the electronics types, the buffer in our bay had a wooden box around the cord containing....you guessed it, the "buffer amplifier".

My Dad used to tell the story of his Navy training when his CPO sent the new guys to find "Charlie Noble" (the slang for the stove pipe on the galley). No matter where they went on base "Charlie Noble" had just left, etc. The new guys in the know went and found a quiet spot and took a nap.

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Well its not just the Herk types that screw with the newbies like that, back in the day when I was crewing E3A' siting in the shop in Riyadh, the early 80's, we had a SP one stripper show up saying that his supervisor dropped him off because they needed a gallon of prop wash and a hundred yards of 1/4" flight line! I think we kept that kid running here and there around the compound for about an hour - all the while his boss is sitting in the truck looking like he was going to die all bent over laughing for all he's worth.:D

(damn, missed out on getting him to help us out with an echo check:mad:)

Dan

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go to ops and get the keys so we can start the engines....my favorite.

guy in ALS,an x-ray tech, said they used to get the noobs to catch photons in a jar, sent them out for analysis.

did see an extremely naive crew chief taking wind/contamination samples on the line in Kuwait, MOCC was even telling him we should tow the planes because the air was cleaner on one side of the ramp..I laughed

---good times-----

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Some K9P, an air sample (garbage bag running through the cargo compartment) or the radar calibration with the fire fighters gloves on... ahh newbs are so fun to screw with

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We used to send new guys out to check the voltage on the Vortex Generator on the F-15 (Vortex Generator forces the missile away from the plane when launched).

Also, we would send guys to supply to get a BA1100N.

Skyhooks were always good. We had a newbie running for four hours trying to find one!

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Also, we would send guys to supply to get a BA1100N.

Thats manufactured by the same company building the new Air Force bomber...B oneRD and the Navy version; GU eleven

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Somewhere on youtube there is a video of a noob hollering into a prop. Sound check.

I do not know if it is/was taken down. But it goes on for about five minutes.

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Well Im a LM and in 130J school right now but on C5's we were always messing with our youngins....

Here's a picture of our baby-load doing a radar check..

This is where the pilot calls back to aft-flight deck and has the load come up because the radars not working. He has him put on the gloves because they have a foil like exterior and goes out on headset and runs back and forth till the radar starts working. It usually progresses from, PUT YOUR HANDS UP, MOVE AROUND, JUMP UP AND DOWN, NO GO BACK THE OTHER WAY I THINK IT FLASHED.....

CIMG0632.jpg

CIMG0633.jpg

MOST guys fell for this because normally they were just a Amn or A1C and the Aircraft Commander was the asking them to do it...

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I managed rental property for my parents when they were in Europe doing missionary work in the Lakenheath/Mildenhal area in the 1980s.

One of the girls who rented from me knew that I always changed my own oil and took care of my vehicle.

She bought her first brand new car, and she was really wanting to take care of it. So, she proceeded to have me show her how to change the oil, etc.

She asked if there was anymore "preventive maintenance" I could recommend.

I told her about rotating and balancing tires, etc. AND, I told her that she needed to "change the air in the tires every time she changed the oil". I "explained" to her that the air gets stale and causes "dry rot" inside of the tire and causes the rubber to break down. I proceeded to show her how to use a valve stem removal tool as well.

We had a local truck stop that had "free" air on the truck side. So, I advised her to go to the truck stop to change the air so she didn't have to "pay" for the air.

Sure enough, she left and headed toward the truck stop.

And sure enough, I parked at a distance and laughed my ass off as this blonde got out and proceeded to let all of the air out of her tires and then "replace" it.

I never told her any differently..........

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Here's one to play on the journeyman electrician: send him to get a "U Tube Bender"

What in the hell is a "U Tube Bender"? Well, it's kind of like a conduit bender. Only, the purpose of the "U Tube Bender" is to bend a straight flourescent light bulb to fit the U shape to fit into the U shape fixtures.

Okay, so he looks at you like you're joking.....explain that you put the straight flourscent bulb into a heater just as you do for PVC conduit and heat it. Once heated, you use the "U tube bender" to bend it into shape.....

You'd be surprised at how many fall for it!

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A few weeks ago we had a new electrician perform an ops check on the "Manual APU generator handle" on the front of the left wheel well pod. No matter how hard he cranked he couldn't get it going. He had no choice but to write it up.

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While I was assigned to 3rd MAPS. We always seemed to get the the baby loads that had both oars in the water and still went in circles. I can remember MSgts Vaughan and Omps telling one of these select few to go find and get some flight line. He asked "What does it look like". Their response was "You will know when you find it." This troop was gone for about an hour. All of a sudden we hear him yell "Can I get some help with this here flight line?" The look on the faces of Vaughan and Omps was priceless when they looked into the bed of the M880. The bed was full of flight line. The only problem was that it was red and had these pesky black disks on it. Guess who was in the CC office later that day?

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AND, I told her that she needed to "change the air in the tires every time she changed the oil". I "explained" to her that the air gets stale and causes "dry rot" inside of the tire and causes the rubber to break down. I proceeded to show her how to use a valve stem removal tool as well.

We had a local truck stop that had "free" air on the truck side. So, I advised her to go to the truck stop to change the air so she didn't have to "pay" for the air.

Sure enough, she left and headed toward the truck stop.

And sure enough, I parked at a distance and laughed my ass off as this blonde got out and proceeded to let all of the air out of her tires and then "replace" it.

I never told her any differently..........

I'm glad my daughter didn't rent a place there and ask you for advice. You should be ashamed of your self.

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Was it just us, or did any of you guys ever send the new troop over to supply to pick up some "prop wash"?

When I first got to Pope in 73 we had TSgt Rickels in charge of minor maintenace, he sent a young troop to supply for some prop wash so we sat back waiting for the kid to come back red faced or laughing. After about 1/2 hour Rick started to get worried about the kid when the phone rang and we heard Rick say it is usually in a plain aluminum can and doing everything he could to keep from laughing. He hung up and almost fell out of his chair the kid was at supply alright but they were looking for the prop wash. Apparently the guys on duty there had never heard of the joke anymore than the kid. He finally came back about 15 minutes later unsuccessful in his quest for prop wash. Rick told him the joke but I never did find out when the guys at supply found out. It still makes me laugh to think and write about it.

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Not C-130 humor but when I was active duty AF I worked transient alert. When we got a new guy we would show them how the boundry layer control on F-4s worked. After a F-4 sat in the rain the BLC ducts in the wing leading edge would fill with water. When the pilot dropped the flaps after cranking up the bleed air would blow the water out. We would have a new guy stand behind the wing and get soaked. You really did get to see how it workd.:eek:

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This one isnt actually a herk story either but it was a hard core prank for the FNG's - guess you could actually call it hazing!:D

I pulled wrenches on AWACS when I first joined the AF, it was basically a 707-300 and had one of the commercial lavatory's in the back.

When the plane would chalk in after a mission, part of the recovery crew was the guys driving the turd hearse to service the lav and the urinal up front.

You would have two guys on the turd hearse, the older of the two got to drive and the loser had to run the hose and flush gear, so when you got a newbie he would be the hose man.

To actually service the lav, 1) you opened the access panel 2) opened the pressure door 3) hooked the hose up and 4) pull the T- handle to open the drain flapper. and if you did that order you were alright.

Well when we had a new guy we would get someone back to the service area before the poo crew arrived, then you would open the access door and pull down the T-Handle to open the drain flapper, wait a second and then push the T-Handle back up - this would allow the mess to sit on top of the pressure door and the "load" would actually keep the flapper open.

So when yon hazing victim got ready to service the lav, as soon as he got to step 2 above, well lets say he was easily identifiable from a distance as he was blue as a smurf for a few days :D

(this was even better than the sea dye marker in the shower head:rolleyes: )

Dan

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Not Herk Humor per se but do the oldtimers (myself included) remember when they first put super glue on bench stock?

At Pope we had a Radar shop chief that was very predictable: each morning he'd walk in the shop, pick his coffee mug (bucket) off his desk and proceed to the 55 gallon percolator then in use. He had a nice sheet of plexi on his desk with everything in the world under it. One morning he grabbed his cup and took the whole top of the desk with him. He was only steamed for a bit and really took it pretty well, though after that the shop bench stock monitor had to keep the glue under lock and key so grave shift couldn't get to it. (Couldn't have been us swing shifters, we never did anything wrong....or if you asked the other shifts we never did anything, period).

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Not Herc Humor, but on the lines of Propwash... In Moffett Field CA there was a newbie check in. She was sent out for propwash, and she went with a bucket and stood behind the P-3 as it taxi'ed through the washrack. Needless to say there were a few pissed off higher ups.

Up in Alaska, we swapped out a RPM gauge on the #2 motor. Had one of the Newbie NFO's(Naval Flight Officer - guy not good enough to drive) spinning the prop so we could do an op check.

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