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118th AES Retired

C-130 Humor

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Ever take some cling-wrap plastic and cover the toilet bowl? It was a real mess, as the victim

had gastro ......

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I was the crew chief on the airplane in which that airman performed that echo check. We went so far as to write up 180 day echo checks in the forms. The stand in the back of the engine is an engine troop in on the joke who is checking "Fillibri" which are the readings of the vibrations coming through the engine from the sound. The one part that should have tipped him off was we were using his multi-meter to check for the "Fillibri" and he was one of our electricians so he should have known that there is no "Fillibri" setting on a multi-meter. If a Newbie doesn't know his job well enough he is an easy target. This happened about a year and a half before I left Kadena to head to Dyess and retrain to be an FE. I don't get many chances to screw with new guys any more. I do miss sending guys to get their boots NDI'd. If the NDI tech is in on it they usually give the guy some NRTS tags he has to saftewire to his boots. If i remember correctly either the same kid or his buddy fell for that joke.

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We couldn't really do too much avionics wise. Maybe have them dry out dessicant for the RADAR with a blow dryer. Or send them to sheet metal to have some 28VDC fuses cut out of aluminum.

On the F4s in Thailand, we'd have to check out Mode 4 by coding the box in the CNI bay, which was in the NLG area. We'd tell them they should speak into the CNI bay voice tube in front of the seat to let us know when the caution light went out. It was, of course, the urinal tube.

F4s again- Always told the newbies that if they were setiing in the ejection seat, if the seat started moving, they needed to get out fast because it was getting ready to fire.

After a few minutes, I'd reach down and hit the toggle switch to adjust the seat, then get the hell out of the way...

On the C141, there was a small door on the floor at the nav station. I'd send a guy down to the avionics bay where the toilet was to check on something. After they was down there, I'd open the door and grab their shoulder and scream. Usually, I got to hear a bang from their head hitting the cockpit floor board above them.

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Anybody remember the beer can tennis ball cannon wars we used to have at Rhein-Main. We would cut the ends out of the beer cans and duct tape them end to end to make long cannons. Squirt lighter fluid in the closed end and stuff a tennis ball in the open end. We would light it with a Bic lighter and it would hurl the ball an easy 50 yards. Normally we would wait in ambush and nail some unsuspecting guy. It got a little out of hand when full warfare broke out.

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I remember those well. It was a miracle no one got seriously hurt. We used to call them Polish Cannons after Don Lehtola aka Emilio J Luskovitz, the famous Polish fighter pilot.

Don is retired and living outside Jackson MS.

Bob

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We couldn't really do too much avionics wise. Maybe have them dry out dessicant for the RADAR with a blow dryer. Or send them to sheet metal to have some 28VDC fuses cut out of aluminum.

On the F4s in Thailand, we'd have to check out Mode 4 by coding the box in the CNI bay, which was in the NLG area. We'd tell them they should speak into the CNI bay voice tube in front of the seat to let us know when the caution light went out. It was, of course, the urinal tube.

F4s again- Always told the newbies that if they were setiing in the ejection seat, if the seat started moving, they needed to get out fast because it was getting ready to fire.

After a few minutes, I'd reach down and hit the toggle switch to adjust the seat, then get the hell out of the way...

On the C141, there was a small door on the floor at the nav station. I'd send a guy down to the avionics bay where the toilet was to check on something. After they was down there, I'd open the door and grab their shoulder and scream. Usually, I got to hear a bang from their head hitting the cockpit floor board above them.

Now Tiny, you never "wrapped " any capacitors?

At Bergstrom (RF4Cs) we used to have the newbie cook hot dogs in shield box of the FLR (APQ 99) hot mock up in shop (they would heat up if you left them there long enough).

On the same line as your F4 CNI intercom; We had T-33s at Keflavik to be our "bad guys".....told the newbies that megaphone down near the floor was the backup intercom.

On B52s the downward ejection seats had spring loaded ankle restraints, sooner or later the new guy would inadvertantly trip them and get caught in them....it was your job to act scared to death because they were about to blow themselves into the ramp.....I've seen some guys sit there for 20 minutes not moving an inch until you "could get egress out to help them" (if I remember correctly, all you did was push your leg back out of them).

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F16 vs C-130

A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.

The jet jockey decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly

went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished

with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot

asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?

The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130

pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'

The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked

to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a

cinnamon roll.'

The moral of the story is....

When you are young and foolish -

speed and flash may seem a good thing !

When you get older and smarter -

comfort and dull is not such a bad thing!

Us older folks understand this one.

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I remember those well. It was a miracle no one got seriously hurt. We used to call them Polish Cannons after Don Lehtola aka Emilio J Luskovitz, the famous Polish fighter pilot.

Don is retired and living outside Jackson MS.

Bob

I had a cool science teacher in the 8th grade, we made them in class (!) and then tried to measure the muzzle velocity. (Measuring obtained height against a wall didn't work, but he had fun so we still got an A.)

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Not C130, but: I was assigned to the 19th MAS in 1969 as a LM on C124s (after 4 years on 130s).. on my first trip, I was told I needed to do a "wing tunnel inspection" (for you younger guys, the 124 was big enough there was a tunnel in each wing that provided access to 'stuff') .. anyway, we were a couple of hours out of Hickam (lots and lots of water).. I crawled out into the wing and was negotiating around the main tires (the walkway ended at the inboard tire, then there was a small piece between the tires, and then it continued out toward the tip).. anyway, I had one foot on the piece between the tires and one foot still on the inboard section (wrapped around the tire, of course) when the gear jumped. I set a record getting back to the cargo compartment! Turned out the C124 landing gear has UP-Neutral-Down positions. When it's in neutral, the pressure bleeds down and the gear rests on the uplocks. The ILM was watching me, and when I was hugging the tire, he told the CP to put the gear handle in the UP position, which caused the gear to "jump" up.. I didn't know that -- I thought the gear was going down and having been in the tunnel on the ground, I remembered the BIG hole that was there with the gear down!! The crew teased me about that for several days.. The C124 was an interesting airplane - I remember the gap between the nose loading doors in flight - normal, but disconcerting to a 130 LM!!

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Not flight related, but I still chuckle when it comes to mind. When I was an RF-4C crew chief at Zweibrucken, and we had a newbie in the step van and/or truck and went to fuel up, one of us would throw a fatigue hat on a seat and say, "Alright......pitch in for gas!" We would then proceed to throw in a buck each, and the newbie (with complete uncertainty) would follow in. At the POL pump, we would advise him to go pay the attendant. It was so funny to see the look on the face of the POL troop.

Kurt

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From SAC HQ over general airwaves:

"Sky King, Sky King, do not answer. Relay Bravo, Tango, Whisky, 1 9er 9er, Delta, Fox Trot, 3,4, 9er, OUT"

After a short silence a reply, "This is Sky King in the Song Bird, who's callling"

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F16 vs C-130

The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130

pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'

The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked

to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a

cinnamon roll.'

Us older folks understand this one.

I always heard the punchline was that the C-130 pilot shut down an engine & said to the F-16 pilot, "Try that, smartass."

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I just remembered this one. This is probably the meanest one I've done. When I was but a green airman, my supervisor Dan let me bring a buddy of mine out to look at my plane. We were showing her around the plane and took her on the flight deck where she proceeded to "Oooo" and "Ahhh" everything. We were talking for a few while she was sitting in the pilots seat while were were all just talking about random stuff. During our conversation we saw her push the autopilot disc button on the yoke, to which I immediately said "Oh s*&^". She turned around just in time to see Dan and I put on the most serious faces ever. She asked what, looked at us when Dan said "Did she just push the red button?" I think this is when she noticed that it was indeed red. I replied that she did and we both dove out of the plane like it was about to go boom. About thirty seconds later she came flying out of the crew door, tears in her eyes screaming "I'm sorry!! I didn't know!!!"

We couldn't hold it any longer and just started rolling with laughter. She knew me pretty well so it didn't take her long to realized she got played. After a few smacks, we went to lunch where she griped the entire meal and kept telling me she was gonna get me back. She never did.

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She .. kept telling me she was gonna get me back. She never did.

When a woman tells you "I'm gonna get you back" - we do not have a specified time frame as to when we are going to act on our threat.

We give you time to forget your trespass. That way, when we do finally act. You will wonder who it was.

So she may have gotten you back - but the list of people you may have pissed off had grown wider at the time that she did get you back.

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Whoa! I forgot about the old "Jack Daniel's Act". Really funny! Take an empty fifth of Jack, Beam, Royal (whatever suits your fancy) and fill it up with iced tea, or Coke, etc.. Give it to the Load to put in his/her bag. Take a stroll down from the flight deck, give some friendly "airline b.s smiles and hello's" to the pax, then enjoy a few belt's from the bottle with the Load. It was absolutley hilarious to see the faces on the pax.

Kurt

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but the list of people you may have pissed off had grown wider at the time that she did get you back.

This seems the most plausible theory. But luckily for me, she was never good at practical jokes. If she wanted to pull something on someone, it was usually me putting it together.

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:eek:On F-16.net there is a thread from 2007 about frog tossing. Some troops at Kunsan were tossing frogs into the intake of F-16's. Not a good idea.

Yea I heard it's real hard on the frogs!

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A lot of good ones here guys... But here are a couple you missed...

We sent a noob on a mission in the books to find the Spring Tension on the Exceptional Release. He spent hours digging and never found it...

Send them back to the shop for the keys to the plane that you had forgotten.

Not C-130

While on KC-135A's I was a noob, but they got a buddy of mine to look into the water dump port and tell them when the lights came on. They hit the water dump switch and rolled him back to the blast fence..

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One a troop drop we had 2 LMs, the one up front would heat up a can of soup in the galley, then poor it into a barf bag. He would then stick the bag into the front of his flight suit, turn to the full house load of troops and act like his was puking in the bag. Next he took the bag out of his flight suit, tied it of with the handy twist tie and motion for the first trooper to pass it to the back, it would make the trip to the rear LM who would feel it then open it up and get his spoon out of his sleeve and start eating. When the plane returned some poor sap of a crewchief (like me) had to clean up a very messy cargo compartment. Heck most of 'em were going to ralph anyway!

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Not Herk Humor per se but do the oldtimers (myself included) remember when they first put super glue on bench stock?

At Pope we had a Radar shop chief that was very predictable: each morning he'd walk in the shop, pick his coffee mug (bucket) off his desk and proceed to the 55 gallon percolator then in use. He had a nice sheet of plexi on his desk with everything in the world under it. One morning he grabbed his cup and took the whole top of the desk with him. He was only steamed for a bit and really took it pretty well, though after that the shop bench stock monitor had to keep the glue under lock and key so grave shift couldn't get to it. (Couldn't have been us swing shifters, we never did anything wrong....or if you asked the other shifts we never did anything, period).

Did the same thing.....the shop chief was gone for the day.......opened up his desk drawer and super glued all his coins together....he came in the next day and went to get the change from his drawer and pulled up the mess. If looks could kill.

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