Jump to content
Aero Precision provides OEM part support for military aircraft operators across more than 20 aircraft
Sign in to follow this  
Dan Wilson

Idiots

Recommended Posts

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the

local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer

Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit

by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one

was from Kingman, KS.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked

the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was

sorry, but they only had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef!

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee

asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your know-

ledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how

would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I

was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when

she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals

blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on

earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in

Wichita, KS.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving

the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully,

"This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken.

We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself

and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not

turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up

our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the

service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock

the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I

instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied,

"I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in

Canton, Mississippi!

and they walk among us . . . and REPRODUCE!!

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze. The first Hillbilly clear his throat and says, "My wife sure is stupid! She bought an air conditioner ..."

"Why is that stupid?" asks the second Hillbilly.

"'Cuz we ain't go no electricity," replied the first.

"That's nothin'," said the second Hillbilly. "My wife is so stupid she bought one of them new-fangled washin' machines!"

"Why is that so stupid?" asks one of the others.

"'Cuz we ain't got no plummin'!"

"That ain't nuthin'," says the third Hillbilly. "My wife is dumber than both of your wives put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' for some change and I found six condoms in thar!"

"What's so dumb about that?" asks his two friends.

"She ain't got no pecker!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving

the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully,

"This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken.

We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

This has actually happened to me. To add insult to injury, my "congrats on five loyal years of service " party was earlier that morning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some folks just have no sense, feel sorry for you about that one for sure.

Here's a good one for idiots, this happened not once but multiple times while I was living in Albuquerque.

I would be talking to whatever "idiot of the day" on the other end of the phone line looking for customer service (AT&T, AOL and VISA were three that I remember specifically) and when they would ask where I was, I would tell them my address, only to hear:

"Sorry sir, we don't service Mexico or anywhere outside of the United States":eek:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Sorry sir, we don't service Mexico or anywhere outside of the United States":eek:

The place I worked was the Marriott. I experienced that on a daily basis. On the guest registration forms there was a small line for "passport number". This was a form that was printed for ALL Marriott's. I think this may have contributed to the problem.

Best idiot ever was a teacher from the midwest who proclaimed that I spoke excellent English, even though I was in Mexico. I proceeded to inform her that she was still in the US.

At which point she laughed and said, "No dear. I am a school teacher. And in the US we have better schools than probably the one you went to. We have better geography courses than here in Mexico."

At this point an AF guy, who "moonlighted" to make extra pay, came over to us with his US road atlas. Slammed it on the counter and proceeded to "school" her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep, that's your liberal left wing public school system for you.

Everyone gets a "feel good about yourself" pass from kindergarten to you college degree:mad:

Just because someones a teacher nowadays don't mean they can even add without a calculator.

How many High school or even college kids today wouldn't be able to name 50 states or even find em on a map.

Dan

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My oldest wanted to go to a Vet school. I had her send off for info from many programs. The package we received from UC Davis in California was for a foreign student application complete with overseas postage. We lived in Alaska at the time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went to a Buger King in Alaska, asked for a medium drink. She says "For here or to go?"

I say, "Just pick one, what difference does it make?"

She says, "Because I have to know. Here or to go?"

Funny thing here in Georgia if they don't have a digital register. If the total of a sale is $10.51, and you give them a $20 bill and 51 cents, you may as well have given them a Rubik's Cube. Invariably, they give you more money back than they should.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Try to go into one of the "sub class" quickey stores like chain donut shop and ask the price of donutes...they might say 6 fot $4.00 you say "ok give me a half dozen" and watch their expression.

Or better yet try paying with $2.00 dollar bills...that really freaks them out.

Muff

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

* makes note to use exact change in Georgia. what a scam :)

Or better yet try paying with $2.00 dollar bills...that really freaks them out.

Muff

This, and any sort of dollar or fifty cent coin. That Sacajawea dollars really confuse people.

I had an employee at a counter once tell me "I'm sorry, we only accept Amurrrikan currency." They pronounced American the way I spelled it.

To which my reply was.

"It IS American. It's not f**ckin pirate treasure."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"It IS American. It's not f**ckin pirate treasure."

I sure wouldn't use the f**ckin currency...it's gotta be worth more than the dollar.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I came back from my first deployment and we stopped in St. Johns for the night. I went to my parents place and my dad and I went to Wally World to pick up some stuff. As I was getting ready to pay I noticed some odd bills in my wallet and announced that I still had Canadian money left. The cashier asked when I last visited Canadia.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In the same general vein; society , in general. has become so dependent on GPS, Garmin, Map Quest, OnStar, etc that when you give them directions like "go North on I 69, then go East on I 80" you will almost always get: "which way is North?"....... So you bite your tongue and say, very slowly and distinctly: "Follow the sign that says 'Lansing' then follow the one that says 'Toledo'" GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...