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hydro101
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E/E was trying to take time for the shop in CAMS and did it wrong so it loaded for an aircraft. then they were to lazy to fix it and left it like that in CAMS, so a Crew Chief took time for it!

Disc: Aircraft requires launch,

C/A: Aircraft launched into air with giant slingshot IAW 1C-130H-2-DUMBASS-T.O. tool and fod check not C/W

needless to say we didn't hear the end of that one since the Group Commander happened to look at the 100 in cams for the day!

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Many years ago I was a hotshot A/2c B-47 crew chief. The acft. had a honey bucket much like a C-130. Connected to the bucket were 3/8th rubber hoses going to each crew station, pilot, copilot and nav. This permitted urination without getting out of the seat. On the end of the hose was a plastic funnel attached with an adel clamp. Over time the hose end at the funnel would crack and begin to seep when used. This problem would then be written up in the 781A. Corrective action would be trimmed a couple of inches of hose. After a couple of trimmings the hose would become too short. This would really piss the crew off in more ways than one. So one day my acft. returns from flight with the squawk, "pilots relief tube too short". My corrective action - "Suggest pilot grow longer penis". This remark got me in big trouble because at that time all maintenance data collection was entered in the right column of the 781A. The data was then key punched into the big computer in the sky. This was done by, as I so painfully learned, by a very proper older lady. Shortly thereafter the flt. chief pulls up to my acft. and tells me to get in the truck the line chief wants to see me. In those days when the chief requested your presence it wasn't to give you an atta-boy. After what seemed hours of severe butt thrashing the chief took me by the scruff of the neck to the key punch lady to whom I humbly and profusely apologized. Needless to say that was the last time I ever wrote anything smart ass in the 781.

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Casey can remember this. Slash Dermott on night shift signed off/took time in CAMS by going on a expletive filled rant in the corrective actions box over several writeups. Needless to say poor Slash had to toe the carpet the next day...

I was setting next to him when he made the entries. I thought it was a bad idea but wasn't going to argue since I was just an Airman. It was pretty funny when they were read at roll call.

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Had a crew return with a write-up "UHF bleeds onto VHF". We had a guy in the Comm shop who was within a few days of starting his discharge out processing who couldn't care less and decided to be a smart ass. His response in the Corrective Action block was "Applied tournaquet to UHF to stop bleeding". :)

Never will forget that one!!!

Rich

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Dyess

Write-up was that the aircraft "oil canned" during a low level flight. I was told to fly low level to try to duplicate the write-up. They told me to fly as low as needed to get the aircraft to make the noise. Most fun I ever had but still never got the noise.

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Plane landed at McClellan with write up in 781A, "Sqeeking sound in flight deck, suspect mouse."

Corrective action: "Interragated mouse, mouse confessed, mouse now incarcerated for annoying flight crew."

I thought I would throw up when I read this.... Emptomology troop was reprimanded but he said it was still worth it.

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At Little Rock AFB we had a plane landed by our, then Wing Commander, with write up for a "firm landing". This landing was on the one acft that had experimental glued together wings. The landing was "firm" enough that this plane went over a year no fly for maintenance. Now the funny part was the write up following the firm landing write up was, "Pilot's seat cushioned soiled and stained". No relation between the two but it gave a great laugh to maintenance. Yes the seat was replaced but the story was around for a long time.

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