Sonny's Funnies
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A man went to the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure was to take place, a nurse came in to check his vitals. Then she asked him to take his clothes off. When he had undressed, she instructed him to lie down on the table. Then the nurse took off her clothes, climbed on top of him and had her way with him. Afterwards, the startled man tried to catch his breath and then he asked her what that was all about. She explained that studies have shown that, before a vasectomy, if the man ejaculates, he will be more relaxed and procedure becomes easier for the surgeon. Then the nurse wheeled the man over to the operating room. While they were tr…
Last reply by uncleglenn, -
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A young couple joined a new church and the pastor told them, "We require all new member couples to abstain from sex for one whole month." The couple agreed, but after two weeks returned to see the pastor. The wife was crying and the husband was obviously depressed. 'You are back so soon, is there a problem?' inquired the pastor. 'We did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month,' the young man replied sadly. "The first week we managed to abstain through sheer will power. The second week was terrible and as we began the third week we were powerless." The pastor asked what happened. The young man replied, "My wife reached for a can of p…
Last reply by SEFEGeorge, -
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My buddy in A$$krakistan sent me this, figured it might get a chuckle or two in the 130 world. THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER This one is a little different...... Two Different Versions.... .............. Two Different Morals _____ OLD VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! …
Last reply by Plaprad, -
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Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
Last reply by Plaprad, -
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Have ya ever noticed: If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, then no one should have one. If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone. If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly enjoys his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect. If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counte…
Last reply by tinyclark, -
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John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late. "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John. "Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy. The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair. "Son," sa…
Last reply by C130Hcc, -
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I have a tape recording of some songs done by someone in the 7th SOS I acquired while stationed at Hurlburt Field back in the early 80's and am trying to get the history on songs. If anyone is familiar you can reach my email at wsharwoodsr@yahoo.com.
Last reply by mongo, -
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The indecation your dealling with an AF crew chief. Owen
Last reply by larry myers, -
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For those that don't know about the history of political parties... Here is a condensed version: Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 1. Liberals 2. Conservatives. Once beer was discovered, it required…
Last reply by SergF, -
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The Love Story of Ralph And Edna Ralph and Edna were good friends, and also patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able …
Last reply by tusker, -
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by trev130eng- 1 reply
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Give me power and give me the ability to fly and i don't give a s'''it about the rest. YAF pilot.
Last reply by tinyclark, -
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Interesting History They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & Sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor" But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and …
Last reply by uncleglenn, -
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A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border. "May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent. "I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.. "Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent. "But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other." "This I gotta see," replied the agent. With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind. "By golly, you're ri…
Last reply by SEFEGeorge, -
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If a herk catches fire on the flight line and there are planes on both sides of it, why do you tow the planes on each side instead of the plane on fire? Answer, The man riding breaks might be overcome by smoke.
Last reply by fenmonster, -
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They just opened up http://aviationhumor.net/ yesterday. Some pretty funny stuff. Here's one ya'll might like. While taxiing out in sequence behind a Lufthansa airliner at Frankfurt, a C-130 crew noticed an orange “Remove before flight†streamer hanging out of the Lufthansa nose wheel well (their nose gear locking pin was still installed). Not wanting to cause too much embarrassment by going thru the controller, the 130 crew simply called the Lufthansa aircraft on the tower frequency: “Lufthansa aircraft, Herky 23.†No reply. They repeated the transmission and again there was no reply. Instead, the Lufthansa pilot called the tower and asked the tower to tell the…
Last reply by Skip Davenport, -
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A man walked into a curio shop in Galveston Texas. Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very life-like, life sized bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it looked so striking that he decided he must have it. He took it to the owner and asked "How much is the bronze rat?" "Twelve dollars for the rat, a hundred dollars if you bring it back," said the owner. The man gave the shop owner twelve dollars. "I'll take the rat; And I won't be bringing it back." As he walked down the street carrying the bronze rat, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of alleys and sewers, and began following him down the street. …
Last reply by Dan Wilson, -
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[ATTACH]1192[/ATTACH]
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[ATTACH]1191[/ATTACH]
Last reply by Fräulein, -
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[ATTACH]1190[/ATTACH]
Last reply by Skip Davenport, -
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So .. you think you have rhythm! This is a MUST watch. This 3 year old kid is priceless. At about 2 and 1/2 minutes he makes a slight mistake----- watch his quick recovery and all facial expressions through-out the whole performance. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=aJG9Tol1a0U Sister is back ... Thank Heavens: www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=7Jrh_uuPmd0
Last reply by Skip Davenport, -
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJVU-7WinQc&feature=
Last reply by TSgtRet, -
I don't ever remember my dad buying us lunch here, or really anywhere else, on our long cross country PCS trips. My mom would always make sandwiches for us, after a stop at the grocery store. ..
Last reply by davis, -
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1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? (A) '65 Ford Fairlane ( '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or © '64 Pontiac GTO. 3. If your uncle builds a still, which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? 4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw, which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be d…
Last reply by jackthehat,