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  • 2 weeks later...

I had a FE write up, "banging noise coming from wing center dry bay-sounds like a little man with a hammer" so the crew chief I was working with at the time, a short timer, wrote in the corrective action block after we insp'd the wing center dry bay, "removed hammer from little man."- and he signed 'M.Mouse WITH HIS OWN MAN # !!

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We had a plane at Dyess come up with a compass write up before take off, so my best friend (GACS) did a redball on it to fix it. He amended the write up after troubleshooting to basically "Flux capacitor broken". We all got a giggle out of it and he set forth to work when a new "Butter Bar" LT Navigator came and asked what was wrong and how long it would take to fix. My buddy told him the flux capacitor was messed up.

We spent the next five minutes getting yelled at and cussed out by this LT about how he's an officer, not some idiot who would fall for our asshole jokes and we should know better than to disrespect him like this and we're all gonna get paperwork and if he has his way lose a stripe, ect...

After letting him on his rant, my buddy showed him the job guide, specifically where it says "Flux Capacitor" The LT turned solid red and stormed back onto the plane, never spoke to us again. Though I guess the crew found out what happened since as soon as they landed the AC found us and apologized to us for his new guy. Was still funny as hell though.

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There are so many! The one that comes to mind was "IFF inop in OFF mode". The corrective action (which we heard about later) was :"Yes it is".

Not quite the same thing but in a similar vein: During some kind of combined airlift exercise at Pope, we had a Red Ball on an E that had just landed. Write up was "unable to turn Radar off". It was a Guard crew flying one of Popes AWADS birds and they didn't know about the detent on the mode switch. They were afraid they would damage something by just killing power.

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We didn't seem to have many silly write ups. I guess it was because the FE's wrote most things up so maint. would have a clue where to start. Now some of our "fixes" were good. I had a pilot complain about the icing warning light going off repeatedly and told me to do something about it.:rolleyes:

I leaned forward and screwed the light lens and bulb out and told him to hold out his hand and then told him "don't lose it". He sat there for a second with a "I can't believe he did that" look on his face.:D

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This is more L382G related than C-130 since I'm on the civilian side but I had a pilot call me to the flight deck because every time he input a 2 mile offset to the right of course in the flight management system it kept commanding him to fly left. I had to point out that he was already 4 miles to the right of course. I'm an avionics guy and he is a "Professional" pilot.

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Not an unusual write up per se:

When I was TDY to Mildenhall from Pope back in '73 we had a night where we were "slammed"....everything that flew that day was broke for us and all had to fly tomorrow and there were only 3 Radar troops. One of the lesser write ups was a DME no lock on #2 tacan. Well since we were busy you can guess the corrective action: "R square #1 and #2 Rt 220s". Yes, we swapped them and went on to the "more" broke planes. That aircraft had a DME write up the next day but it was on #1 tacan so we didn't buy a repeat. Don't know if it was the smartest thing ever done; I can only plead that the 3 of us were a 3 level airman, and 2 5 levels, one a freshly minted 5 level A1C and the other a new buck sergeant (and I will not say which one I was:rolleyes:).

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Speaking of your Mildenhall ROTE brings an unusual one to mind. On my second TAC Mildenhall rotation (1973), with the Langley 316th, had a post flight writeup for no Doppler RADAR lockon entire flight. Surprised to find both IF cables to the RT-625 just dangling disconnected (easy fix, quick night) ops ck on tester good. Plane flew the next day and came back with a repeat no Doppler lock entire flight. Found same two RT IF cables dangling. This time they had been ripped out of the back of their connectors. No easy task with quarter inch shielded cable. Well, no quick job this time. Curious. Inadvertently catching a combat boot while crawling into the "hell hole" may pull one out, but ripping both out had to have been intentional. Aircraft back on the schedule by morning, took it's scheduled mission to be downrange for awhile. Evidently someone didn't want that aircraft, or their crew, to leave England. Hindsight...either some guy wanted to stay with his girlfriend or maybe some dude was smuggling and wanted the aircraft disabled until they could get to their stash.

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One other write up that sticks in my mind from Mildenhall (wish I could remember the tail #). We had a Mode C reading incorrect altitude (10,000 ft+ error) on the ground control radar. An instrument troop and I lugged our testers out to the aircraft (this was about 2100 or so and as I remember this was one of the more remote Bravo Squadron hardstands). Hooked them up and sure enough, when his tester was pumped up to 15,000 we were only showing 5,000 on the mode c; same type of error throughout the range. R squared the APX 72, retested, same thing. Started shooting wires and found an open on one of the bits. Of course that's a wire bundle that goes over the top of the nose wheel well before it reaches the instrument panel. After a long discussion with the OMS Line Chief and a call through Command Post back to Pope, we were told to do an "expedient fix". We ended up running a replacement wire from the RT, down through the "hell hole" and up along the pilot's side window wire bundle and into the instrument panel from there. Took us about 9 hours, start to finish. No further trouble on that rote and don't know what the final outcome was on that aircraft as I PCS'd to Grissom about 6 months later. I do know that it continued to fly with that fix while I was there.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Back in Kunsan Korea I worked the last of the F-4D's there as a new COMM/NAV guy. Write-up in 781A stated:

DISCREPANCY: Upon taxi back to parking, engines shut down, all avionics switched off, -60 power unit connected, master switches in EXT PWR and crew chief hooked up to ground cord in nose wheel well I could hear AFKN in my headsets.

CORRECTIVE ACTION: They do that sometimes.

Seems with a ground cord hooked up the interphone system would act like a radio receiver tuned to AFKN with a long ground cord as an antenna.

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TalonOneTF can verify or maybe embellish the story where we had a Skyhook radome take a bird strike. The write-up looked something like this...

DISCREPANCY: Bird strike on nose radome, possibly a duck.

Sure enough, upon opening the radome there was a pressed duck between layers of fiberglass. We changed the radome.

Heard on the flightdeck on a low level MC-130E flight after a bird strike just below the center windscreen...

Rt Seat, "What kind of bird was that?"

Lt Seat, "an unlucky one."

FE, "don't know what kind but it had the biggest eyes I've ever seen; big as dinner plates just before impact."

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This is a mix of military and civiliam writeups and corrective action I found on another site.


Defect: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."

Action. . ."Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Defect: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."

Action. . ."Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Defect #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."

Action #1. . . "#2 Propeller seepage normal."

Defect #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Defect: "The autopilot doesn't."

Action. . . "IT DOES NOW."

Defect: "Something loose in cockpit."

Action. . . "Something tightened in cockpit."

Defect: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."

Action. . . "Evidence removed."

Defect: "DME volume unbelievably loud."

Action. . . "Volume set to more believable level."

Defect: "Dead bugs on windshield."

Action. . . "Live bugs on order."

Defect: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."

Action. . . "Cannot reproduce Defect on ground."

Defect: "IFF inoperative."

Action. . . "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Defect: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."

Action. . . "That's what they're there for."

Defect: "Number three engine missing."

Action. . . "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Defect: "Seat cushion in 13F smells rotten."

Action. . . "Fresh seat cushion on order"

Defect: "Aircraft handles funny."

Action. . . "Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right," and be serious."

Defect: "Target Radar hums."

Action. . . "Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words."

Defect: Turn & slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.

Action: Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!

Defect: Whining sound heard on engine shutdown.

Action: Pilot removed from aircraft.

Defect: Pilot's clock inoperative.

Action: Wound clock.

Defect: Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds.

Action: Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.

Defect: #2 ADF needle runs wild.

Action: Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.

Defect: Unfamiliar noise coming from #2 engine.

Action: Engine run for four hours. Noise now familiar.

Defect: Noise coming from #2 engine. Sounds like man with little hammer.

Action: Took little hammer away from man in #2 engine.

Defect: Whining noise coming from #2 engine compartment.

Action: Returned little hammer to man in #2 enginDefect:

Flight Attendant cold at altitude.

Action: Ground checks OK.

Defect: F/A's complain of numerous roaches in the galleys.

Action: Roaches deplaned.

Defect: Live cockroach seen disappearing in forward galley.

Action: Live cockroach transferred to HIL (Hold Item List)

Defect: 3 roaches in galley.

Action: 1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.

Defect: Mouse in radio stack.

Action: Cat installed in radio stack.

Defect: Weather radar went ape!

Action: Opened radome, let out ape, cleaned up mess!

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Had one guy the other day turn on pitot heat with the covers on. Someone else wrote it up for him and wrote it up as "Pitot heat applied with covers on, ***** did it." putting the name of another guy, then next to it the other guy pu "No the hell I didn't, it was *****."

Surprised no one said anything.

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