Sonny's Funnies
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Words Women Use: FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up . Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade. NOTHING This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end…
Last reply by Fräulein, -
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I ask you, does this look like some good fired Chicken or what:rolleyes:
Last reply by Dan Wilson, -
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Subject: ORIGIN OF THE WORD "AVIATOR" This explains it all. Aviators come from a long line of a secret society, formed around one thousand years ago. They are warriors, and here is the proof! Ground pounders can read it and weep! A little known fact is the origin of the word, "Aviator." In the immortal words of Johnny Carson: "I did not know that." Phu Khen (pronounced Foo Ken) 1169-? is considered by some to be the most under-recognized military officer in history. Many have never heard of his contributions to modern military warfare. The mission of this secret society is to bring honor to the name of Phu Khen. A 'Khen' was a subordinate t…
Last reply by Mt.crewchief, -
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New Brew Pub for Seniors
Last reply by gizzard, -
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP …
Last reply by Sparks, -
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A Guide For Yankees In The South Like Hemorrhoids, They Come Down, Won't Go Back Up, & Are A Pain In The Ass 1. Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass. 2. Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Brenda Sue, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Bobby Lee, Clovis, etc.) or we will just have to kick your ass. 3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever - it's s…
Last reply by Fräulein, -
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[ATTACH]1748[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]1749[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]1752[/ATTACH]
Last reply by CharlieLifeSupport, -
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Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
Last reply by gizzard, -
I don't ever remember my dad buying us lunch here, or really anywhere else, on our long cross country PCS trips. My mom would always make sandwiches for us, after a stop at the grocery store. ..
Last reply by davis, -
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This is so funny-- Click here: Understanding Southern - Bill Cosby
Last reply by Dan Wilson, -
This was an activity listing at a resort we were at in Orlando. This is just a wrong name for a scheduled activity, especially behind the playground. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
Last reply by tinyclark, -
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[ATTACH]1192[/ATTACH]
Last reply by INS/Dopplertroop, -
I've been here in Georgia for 3 years now, but I'm not getting this. WTF?
Last reply by KF4DVG, -
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According to a researcher Alexander the Great came up with a crude timepiece for his many soldiers, consisting of a chemically treated cloth worn on the left forearm. Under the heat of the sun, the cloth changed colors every hour, providing the Macedonian warriors with the world’s first wrist watch. The device was known as Alexander’s Rag TimeBand.†The Cumberland News of Cumberland, Maryland, November 6, 1963 * * *
Last reply by donwon, -
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This police officer sees an old lady driving and knitting at the same time, so after driving next to her for awhile he yells to her, "PULLOVER". She replies, "No a pair of socks".
Last reply by donwon, -
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The indecation your dealling with an AF crew chief. Owen
Last reply by larry myers, -
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Last reply by davis, -
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You Know You're Getting Old When... You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. You can live without sex, but not without glasses. Your back goes out more than you do. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You buy a compass for the dash of your car. You are proud of your lawn mower. Your best friend is dating someone half their age... And isn't breaking any laws. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. You sing along with the elevator music. You would rather go to work than stay home sick. You enjoy hearing about other peo…
Last reply by Bruce Kapaun, -
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Air Force Christmas Party TO: ALL SQUADRON MEMBERS I'm happy to inform you that the Squadron Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our Commander shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty Lewis, Captain, USAF Executive Officer December 2nd TO: ALL SQUADRON MEMBERS In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish mem…
Last reply by larry myers, -
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A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your informat…
Last reply by Ronc, -
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Last reply by INS/Dopplertroop, -
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Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
Last reply by Plaprad, -
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Cleared to land but runway condition, RCR is, ahhh, maybe 12...... [ATTACH]1929[/ATTACH]
Last reply by INS/Dopplertroop, -
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The skipper of a tramp steamer, writing in the log, recording an eventful day, rounded off his task with the entry: “Mate intoxicated.†To the mate, who indignantly protested on reading it, the skipper retorted: “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?†The following day it was the mate’s duty to write the log. He completed his account with “Skipper sober.†The captain stared at it for a moment, and exploded. “Well, it’s true, ain’t it?†was the mate’s rejoinder. * * * Snowyday
Last reply by C130Hcc, -
Two Indians, very close friends, were forced to separate for a few days while one went to the city on business. On his return, he rushed to his friends, teepee, rapped on the flap and asked the squaw to see his friend, Shortcake. She informed him he was dead. Stunned, he walked off, then returned to see if there was anything he could do “Isn’t there anything I can help you with?†he asked the squaw “No,†was the solemn reply. “Well, can I help you bury him?’ “No,†was the answer, and then she added, “Squaw bury Shortcake.†1957 * * * *
Last reply by gizzard,